Today, I complete my 44th trip around the Sun. It’s only taken me a little over 16,000 days, so my pace is pretty solid.
Most birthdays since I turned 30 have just been another X in the box, more or less, but this one is the first since I made a deliberate choice to reboot my life, so now I can clearly and honestly assess how that’s been going (which I guess is what I’ve done every month since I started, but whatever. It sounds profound so there.)
One year ago today, I was at GenCon, having the worst birthday and worst GenCon of my life. I should have been having fun, playing games, and celebrating Tabletop, but I spent the entire convention meeting with game publishers who had been lied to by the same person (who I thought was a trusted friend) who had been lying to me for three years, using me and his position as a trusted part of Tabletop to advance his own goals. While I was trying to deal with the emotional effects of being so totally and utterly betrayed, I also had to try my best to set it aside and save not just my show, but dozens of relationships that I didn’t even know had been severely damaged. I sat down with people who didn’t know me, who I didn’t know, and had to listen to them tell me about all the lies they’d been told about me, about my show, and about my personal values. It was horrible. I had a terrible time, and by the time the day was over, I just wanted to drink beer until I couldn’t feel feelings.
What a difference a year makes. Instead of trying not to cry all day, I’m enjoying the peace and quiet of my home. Instead of struggling to find some enthusiasm to make more Tabletop, I’m creating and writing the stories I’ve been wanting to tell for months. Instead of cleaning up someone else’s mess, I’m spending the day with the people I love.
Being betrayed by someone I loved like family was one of the most painful and devastating things I’ve ever experienced. But I can take something good out of it: it forced me to look at what I was doing with my life, how I was coping with the way I was feeling, and why I had allowed all of it to happen in the first place.
It forced me to get serious about dealing with all that unhappiness, and ask myself what is important to me? What do I want to do with my life? What can I do to take control of my life? How can I be responsible for my happiness?
It’s an ongoing process. Some days are harder than others. I make mistakes, but I learn from them. Months later, I still have profound realizations about my life, my art, and where they intersect all the time, thanks to the clarity and focus my life reboot has given me.
I never would have expected my 44th birthday to be a Big One™, but here we are. Let’s check-in and see how my seven things are working out.
- Drink less beer.
I completely quit drinking in January. I just counted, and it’s been 196 days. For someone who loves beer and bourbon and whisky, and pre-prohibition cocktails as much as I do, I would expect this to be the hardest part of the whole thing, but it really isn’t. Compared to my other goals and changes, it’s honestly the easiest thing. There are times I miss having a drink, but I don’t miss feeling buzzed or even drunk. I don’t miss turning off feelings and avoiding uncomfortable emotions. I didn’t realize it when I made this list, but this thing was the first entry because it’s the foundation of the reboot, and the cornerstone that supports all the other things.
At some point in the future, I may have a drink once in awhile, but my days of having a drink and then another and then another and then inviting the Bad Idea Bears to party with me and go shopping online are over. I don’t miss it at all, and (I think I’ve said this in previous updates) what I give up is just tiny in comparison to what I get back. Grade: A+
- Read more (and Reddit does not count as reading).
I didn’t think this was going to get a good grade this month, because I haven’t finished any books. But then I realized that I’ve been reading every night, and I actually did finish a bunch of things, if I count graphic novels and trade paperbacks as books. Which I do, because I’m an adult, and I get to decide what that means. I read for two primary reasons: to nourish and enrich myself, and to get inspired. One of the things I’m writing is probably going to end up being a graphic novel or series of comics someday, so reading all the Outcast trades, every issue of Bitch Planet, The Fade Out, and Wicked + Divine is not just enjoyable and entertaining, it’s inspiring me to make something that lives up to their example. I’m also reading lots of short fiction in LIghtspeed and from around the Internet, and that’s helping me be a better short story writer. So while I haven’t finished and 500+ page books, I have read a lot, and I have gotten a lot out of it. Grade: A+
- Write more.
I wrote my keynote address for Mensa, I am nearly finished with the puke draft of a short story, and I broke a story that’s been an idea on the whiteboard for at least a year. It isn’t writing, but I made a thing where there wasn’t a thing before. I mention this because I could easily have substituted “Create more” for “Write more” on the list. I didn’t know it when I made the list, but what I needed to do more than anything else was find my way back to my Art (yeah, it’s capitalized. Yeah, that’s a little too precious. I need it to be that important in my life, so there it is). Writing is a huge part of my Art, but so is creating things, whether they are photographs, or podcasts, or TV Crimes. I’ve been working every week on an animated series that I can’t talk about, so I’m doing good work as an actor, and even though my heart breaks every single time I see something about the new MST3K that I’m not part of, and even though I get unreasonably dejected when casting news about Ready Player One or American Gods comes out, I haven’t completely given up on good on-camera acting jobs coming my way again. Hell, my work on Powers is really, really good, and if it was on network TV so more industry people saw it, I bet it would lead to some auditions or meetings.
But this is, technically, about writing. And since I’ve been writing every day, even if it’s just a few hundred words at a time, I’m doing it. The goal is “write more” not “write everything”. So my grade, including extra credit for the other stuff: A+
- Watch more movies.
Anne and I watched the entire season of Stranger Things. That, alone, would earn me an A this month. We also watch Outcast, and we’ve been taking in amazing movies, like Green Room, Blue Ruin, The Witch, and The Long Goodbye. The point of watching more movies is just like the point of reading more: to not just be entertained, but to be challenged and inspired. That’s happening every day for me. In fact, I don’t know exactly what it will be, but before the end of the year, I will write and produce a short film of my own, just because I want need to do it. It doesn’t need to be super complicated or ambitious. Just something with two or three characters that I can shoot with my DSLR and edit in iMovie. The more movies I watch, the more great performances I see, the more they inspire me and challenge me to make my own thing. Grade: A+
- Get better sleep.
My friend, Sean Bonner, convinced me to try this thing that sounds really, really dumb: about an hour before bed, put on these hideous orange goggles that block the blue light spectrum. I guess the blocking of blue light tells our caveman brains that we don’t need to go hunting, so we can relax and go to sleep. It works so well, I don’t need to take gabapentin or anything to help me go to sleep. I’m sleeping restfully every night, rarely going over 8 hours, and waking up feeling like I actually recharged my body overnight. I know that not drinking and cutting out its sugars has been a huge part of this, but the difference between the pre-hideous-orange-goggles era and now is remarkable. But I’ve officially made it a habit to not force myself to stay up and play video games or fuck off online looking for the end of the Internet or anything stupid like that. I finish my day, I go to sleep, and I get rest. It’s a huge part of taking good care of myself, and it’s working. Grade: A+
- Eat better food.
Before I rebooted, I was just eating garbage. I don’t eat fast food, and I don’t eat a lot of sugar, but my nutrition was awful. My diet was terrible, and I had no concept of macronutrients or why their balance is important. My son, Nolan, really helped me learn how to think of my food as energy and nutrition and fuel for my body (while still indulging in ice cream and stuff, in moderation). It isn’t that hard once it becomes a habit, but making it a habit is a challenge, especially when you’re lazy like I am. But I’ve stayed pretty focused on this, and even when I’ve been on the road or in a hurry, I do the best that I can. I always grade myself on a curve, though, and I haven’t done as well with food and nutrition as I could this month. I made some chocolate chip cookies, and I’ve fallen into the habit of eating ice cream almost every night. I can do better, and I have to, if I’m going to make the last 2-3 pounds come off. Grade: B+
- Exercise more.
I’ve only run four times since June 29th. Considering I want to run at least 4 times a week, that’s nowhere close to where I want to be. I’ll cut myself a little slack, because I was on vacation for a week of this month, and I spent most of that vacation taking walks and swimming like crazy. I also walk my dogs, but not every day (or every other day when I’m running at least 4 days a week). The truth is, I’ve just been lazy, and it shows. Yeah, I hurt my hip again, and it’s been really, really hot here, but those are just excuses. In a month where everything else is going so well, this stands out as a big disappointment that needs a lot of improvement. Grade: D
Okay, so it looks like it was a pretty good month. Let’s total it up and find out what my overall grade is… 30/30, after factoring in the extra credit. However, I’m taking two points off for the D in exercise, because physical fitness is as important as mental fitness, especially for someone who is now 44.
Final grade for July: A (28/30)
That’s really good, and it reflects how I feel, generally. I’m happier than I’ve been in years. I’m more peaceful, more content, more productive, and more satisfied than I’ve been in months. The whole point of the reboot was to look at my body and life as an operating system that was really fucked up, and needed to be reset (and in some cases, recompiled from source). I can honestly and unabashedly say that it’s working.
But this isn’t a destination, this is a journey, and where I have put myself right now is the best birthday present I could have hoped to give myself this year.
Happy Birthday Will!!! may it a great one today is my 52nd birthday
Happy birthday! Enjoy your day.
Always great to read your updates, Wil – congrats on all that you’re accomplishing! I have to ask: can you tell us where you found those orange goggles? It sounds like something that could help some of the rest of us get better sleep, too. Thanks!
Good Job! I deleted Facebook off my phone last month and that alone has made me a lot happier. Also, vacation was A+++++ I miss my LA family a lot a lot. Also, I was like, wha? at Bad Idea Bears. I googled it and turns out thats from AvenueQ? Never seen it. Every time one of the tots is trying to kill itself, I tell them bad idea bear and make them stop. I’ve never heard anyone say that but me.
Glad to hear it mah man, keep up the good work, and thanks for sharing. Always inspiring ^^
P.S. You would have been great in RP1 or AG, it’s their loss.
Happy Birthday Wil! What a great gift you’ve given yourself. Thank you for sharing the journey with us. <3
Happy Birthday Wil, looks like you’ve made some positive changes in your life. May you continue to find positive things this next year!
I totally buy the blue light thing. I installed f.lux on my computer, and it cuts the blue light down so it’s easier on your eyes, especially at night. It has made a HUGE difference. I fall asleep faster and easier than I used to – I’m always on my computer writing until right before bed, so having f.lux made a huge difference in my sleep patterns.
When I turn f.lux off my computer seems like this painful glowing thing aiming to blind me lol.
Wil,
Just came back from SDCC and I won’t lie it wasn’t the same without you – we managed to get front row for w00tstock and while I was able to crack Storm while he was shining his guitar death ray, your presence was missed. That’s not why I’m commenting though!
Your reboot and progress is incredibly encouraging. I recently have gone through a bit of a reboot – I was diagnosed with Graves Disease and had my thyroid removed in January. Having an evil organ that has been toying with your brain and emotions for years suddenly removed is… well, there are really no words to describe it. A lot of clarity happened in the days following the surgery, and I made a vow to start fixing things that had gone down the pipes while my insane thyroid called the shots.
I’m still in the midst of getting things fixed up, and while there have been ups and downs along the way I can see overall progress improving, and at the end of the day I see relationships with my friends and family becoming more positive as time goes on. From my limited view via social media and such it does seem that you have a fantastic relationship with your friends and family, and I can tell that you do cherish those.
Keep it up, and know that (at least some of) us fans are behind you 100%. “Trusted” friend be damned – we trust you and the decisions you make.
-Steve
I’m really happy that you’re doing so well. I wish you the nest birthday you could have (whatever form that takes) today and for many more to come! Happy birthday, Wil! waves pompoms, throws confetti
Happy Birthday Wil! I’m glad that this last year has been good to you and that you’ve been good to yourself. I wish you an even better year ahead. Thanks for sharing your journey with all of us on here.
Happy birthday! (Maybe a little idea, get something like one of those “walking desks”, so when you’re working on your Art, you can also be exercising. Just an idea, you can take it however you want to go with it.) Hope you have many more fruitful years ahead of you!
Happy Birthday and Congrats on the reboot. Keep up the good journey.
Congrats on a successful month, and happy birthday!!
I’d love to know more about the hideous orange goggles. Someone important to me is having sleep challenges, and would like to try some non-pharmaceutical solutions. Do you have the brand name or a link? Thanks in advance!
Happy Birthday! It looks like the reboot is going along great, congrats. 🙂
It’s been 8 years since that SDCC where we met, and I was turning 30. (And I just figured out, 16 years since I stumbled on to WWDN!) It’s so healthy to find yourself again and pledge to do better.
A month ago, I almost didn’t get to celebrate this birthday. I was in a car crash that had i not turned at the last second, would have ended me. It has made me look back for pure gratefulness that I have 3 kids that I am raising, my Twins and my SO’s son. It and a plethora (thank you 3 Amigos) of health problems have made me look forward and vow to be a better person in health and life.
So here’s to us, our birthdays, and a better life!
Miss Kitty Fantastico
aka @kittylair
Really enjoy reading it. I should do something like that myself. I’m just depressed all the time, and should work on it (lots of reasons for being depressed…but…well not the concern of the entire internet). Thanks for your assesment, and am looking forward to see some of your Art.
Happy Birthday Wil, and congratulations on making yourself a better you. Keep up the good work!
The silver lining of the MST3K thing is that you can feel vicariously awesome for your pal Felicia.
Well done you! And happy birthday. You’re an inspiration to me as I approach my 40th. Also can you tell me more about these goggles? My us and has the worst time sleeping and I’m wondering if they would help him.
Happy birthday, and congrats on the A! Would love of hear more about the goggles, sleeping s a big problem for me and waking rested is like some mythological beast I’ll never run into…. You made me curious!
Happy birthday Will. You and me both! You turn 44 before I do this year and it’s always a bit daunting as I reassess, assess or whatever the hell it is we do to make better choices. I’m sorry you had some bad experiences, but I know you’ll make the best of it. It sounds like you already have. As for the healthy eating choices….yeah. Me too! It’s so easy to get into the routine of eating pretty delicious crappy food:) Anyhow, I hope you have/had a wonderful day with the family. I met you once at a Phoenix Comicon during a bullshit fire alarm scare. I was trying to get some zzzz’s and some idiot punks pulled the alarm. I’ll always laugh at that impromptu moment. Take care and let’s make year 44 our best! And definitely write more! I enjoy reading your work! Chris Rohrer
Our first Gen Con experience was as a vendor (Fantasy Grounds) and it was quite fun. Over the years, it started to become more of a burden. We would work the exhibitor hall and enjoy chatting with people, but you end up giving the same spiel (sp?) over and over again until you wrap up and go to a restaurant/bar and drink the evening away. This year we have some new people on our team and we made a concerted effort to return Gen Con to what it should be — gaming. We are planning to get some gaming in every evening that we are there with people that are spread from Kentucky, California, Washington and Illinois.
Keep up the good work. You’re doing well! HAPPU BIRTHDAY!
Wil, happiest of birthdays to you. I hope to see you at Gen Con one day (I run games so I’m sure it will only be from a distance unless you are up for being a superhero for six hours with our group (shameless plug, I know and am not ashamed)). Recently you met one of my dear friends, Dan, and I’m guessing had a fantastic time as he is an absolute delight full of bawdy humor and good-natured smiles.
Great report card! And a terrific gift to yourself that lets you clearly see and enjoy all the other wonderful gifts in your life.
About getting to sleep: I haven’t tried orange goggles, but I have a “No Screens” policy for at least an hour before bed, and no screens while in bed. Which means no ebooks to help me drop off, so I’ve gone back to dead trees, thinly sliced.
As for working out, I strongly recommend triathlon. I have found it to be so much easier to do a bit of three sports than a lot of a single sport. Injuries rarely (if ever) take you down to zero sports, and the variety helps prevents boredom, burn-out and over-use injuries.
The triathlon community is like the best church congregation ever, but without any of the churchy-religiony stuff. Basically, the best support group you can imagine, where both giving and accepting are so easy.
As you start your 45th trip around our local star, I’ll be finishing my 60th in a few months. My goals have recently been focused on both my bucket list (which I should have started 4 decades ago) and what I want to be doing when I’m 80.
Right now, I plan to be fit and healthy enough to easily do at least an Olympic distance triathlon on my 80th birthday. Which means maintaining decent conditioning all along the way while simultaneously avoiding breaking anything (keeping the wheels on and rolling).
So, if time permits, take a moment to take a long look down the road. Set some basic lifestyle goals for that future you, then set some waypoints to get you there. That long look really helps put todays problems and issues into perspective. Then think on it every so often, to make sure what you’re doing today moves you toward that future life.
Sounds like you’re most of the way there already. Good job!
Congratulations and happy birthday! Well done on the reboot.
Happy Birthday! Thanks for creating this blog and sharing it also! I feel like you should always get an extra credit for that too 😉
Congrats!
I have also rebooted my life. Goals: exercise, eat better, yoga, deep breathing, letting go of relationships that don’t match my future goals. Well I didn’t do A+ like you ( congrats again because I know first hand how hard change is ) but I did get a solid C in all areas. Maybe my 46th birthday next year will bring higher grades.
Keep up the good work.
Happy Birthday and congratulations to your great month! Just one quick thought on your writing: From my point of view (I’m a teacher for academic writing), all your achievements in this column count as legitimate writing. In most models of writing, the actual “writing”-part is just one out of many (for example one out of seven phases). The larger parts of writing are stuff like planning, thinking and revising. It may not feel like it, but you are writing, you may just not be typing this much yet.
Greetings from Germany
Dennis
Happy One More Revolution Around The Sun Day Wil! Glad to see you’re giving yourself props for the good grades you’re achieving – they’re well deserved!
Congrats and HBD Wil. I tried running for 5 years, and hated every minute of every run. Eventually I gave up, but then took up weightlifting. It’s amazing what it has done for me (as a scrawny nerd), and it was way easier to get interested and form a habit – like leveling up my strength.
I’d suggest you try some other forms of exercise. If you can get legitimately interested in it, that’s at least half the work.
Here’s to a good 44th for one of my silent heroes. I’d kill to make you a friend of mine but that seems like an odd way to start off a friendship. Plus there’s the geographical distance and my affinity for being broke. No matter. You’re slightly ahead of me years-wise and eons ahead of me success-wise but then again that’s me greening up your grass and ignoring mine. It may have sucked where you’ve been… I just hope it keeps getting better for both of us. Seeing your goals has led me to think about what I should do for myself. I’ll make myself a bracelet “WWWWD?” What would Wil Wheaton do? No worries, I have wide wrists.
Have a great birthday and do what makes you happy, my friend.
P.S. Don’t worry, “my friend” is just an expression…I didn’t axe anybody.
Stacey, your sense of humor is awesome. “Odd way to start off a friendship” – I’m dyin’ over here!
Happy Birthday Will. Congrats on the A man. Good job 🙂
Happy birthday, sir! Have a good one!
Happy birthday, Will. I just celebrated my 60th a few days ago, and I can tell you that it’s easier to reboot your life the earlier you start. Keep it up and you will be very happy with yourself when you get to where I am (which is sooner than you think).
By Stranger Things I think you mean to say Holy Crap That Was Friggin Amazing Things! And hey, don’t get too down about Ready Player One, I mean, you were mentioned in the book! That’s got to count for something. Also, my Google Now pulled an article you wrote about the DNC, so that’s more towards your writing for the month. Enjoy what is left of your birthday and hope you get to spend some time with your loved ones.
Happy birthday. Wil.
I begin another year Monday, August 1. The twilight of my years.
Wish we could have a glass of wine together.
Hopes for many more happy years for you, my friend.
I raise my glass to your good health and prosperity !
Happy Birthday, Wil!! 🙂
Happy Birthday Will!!! I’m so happy for you and glad you’ve been able to accomplish your goals!!!! You remind me so much of my brother. His birthday(and his twin’s) is on the 1st of August. You even look like him a bit(He’s multiracial including Black). He makes that exact same expression with the thumbs up. You only look 20 years old btw. 🙂
Happy Birthday, Wil. And many, many, many happy returns!! Un beau bonjour du Québec! §:c)
What’s that old saying?
“That which does not kill us, gives us really cool scars which make us a chick magnet.”
Um… well, that’s not quite it. At any rate. Happy Birthday! 😉
Happy birthday, Will. I just turned 38 last month, and I’ve been going through my own reboot (Physically anyway). I’ve been using the “Zombies, Run!” app you’ve mentioned before, and I love it. Doing that at least 4 times a week combined with push-ups, pull-ups, and sit-ups for the last month, I believe I’m in the best shape of my life since high school (and my wife says my ass looks great 😊).
Keep at it, Runner 5! Eventually you’ll get that D to an A!
Can relate to a surprising number of points on this list. Thumbs up for getting on top of them Wil, happy birthday man.
Happy Birthday! Congrats on doing so well with your reboot! It’s really awesome.
Today marks my 28th trip around the sun and I’m all for making some changes this year. Maybe in 365 days I’ll be giving myself some solid A+ marks on my goal sheet.
Enjoy your day. Best wishes
Is there a link you can share to the orange goggles???
Have an excellent birthday! And many many more
Happy Formula 44D Birthday Wil. It is never too late to make changes and strive to improve, glad your reset continues going well. I went back in the military (air guard) after 16+ years out and can honestly say I am in better shape pusing 47 than I was at any time when I was last on active duty.
I’m proud of you, Wil. Not only for all of the changes that you’ve made, and continue to make, but for being aware that perfection is not the goal, but what is truly important is to keep at it, and count the steps forward, evaluate the steps back, but then leave them there. They are behind you, and all of the good is ahead. You are an inspiration to me, and I’m sure many others. Thank you, and happy birthday.
It’s great reading about your progress. I met you last year at Rose City Comicon and got you to sign my Wesley Crusher Star Trek TCG card. I could tell then that you were happy with the work and excited to meet people. I enjoy hearing your progress and seeing how things have really turned around in your life.
I’ve been working on making changes in my own life and seeing other people who have struggled with a lot of the same issues succeed gives me hope. Most of my changes have only been in the last month, but I’m writing more, I’m spending more time with the family, and I’m eating healthier.
Keep it up and thank you for continuing to share with us.
Hap Hap Happy Birthday and Many More! Blessings of Happiness and Joy!