Today, I complete my 44th trip around the Sun. It’s only taken me a little over 16,000 days, so my pace is pretty solid.
Most birthdays since I turned 30 have just been another X in the box, more or less, but this one is the first since I made a deliberate choice to reboot my life, so now I can clearly and honestly assess how that’s been going (which I guess is what I’ve done every month since I started, but whatever. It sounds profound so there.)
One year ago today, I was at GenCon, having the worst birthday and worst GenCon of my life. I should have been having fun, playing games, and celebrating Tabletop, but I spent the entire convention meeting with game publishers who had been lied to by the same person (who I thought was a trusted friend) who had been lying to me for three years, using me and his position as a trusted part of Tabletop to advance his own goals. While I was trying to deal with the emotional effects of being so totally and utterly betrayed, I also had to try my best to set it aside and save not just my show, but dozens of relationships that I didn’t even know had been severely damaged. I sat down with people who didn’t know me, who I didn’t know, and had to listen to them tell me about all the lies they’d been told about me, about my show, and about my personal values. It was horrible. I had a terrible time, and by the time the day was over, I just wanted to drink beer until I couldn’t feel feelings.
What a difference a year makes. Instead of trying not to cry all day, I’m enjoying the peace and quiet of my home. Instead of struggling to find some enthusiasm to make more Tabletop, I’m creating and writing the stories I’ve been wanting to tell for months. Instead of cleaning up someone else’s mess, I’m spending the day with the people I love.
Being betrayed by someone I loved like family was one of the most painful and devastating things I’ve ever experienced. But I can take something good out of it: it forced me to look at what I was doing with my life, how I was coping with the way I was feeling, and why I had allowed all of it to happen in the first place.
It forced me to get serious about dealing with all that unhappiness, and ask myself what is important to me? What do I want to do with my life? What can I do to take control of my life? How can I be responsible for my happiness?
It’s an ongoing process. Some days are harder than others. I make mistakes, but I learn from them. Months later, I still have profound realizations about my life, my art, and where they intersect all the time, thanks to the clarity and focus my life reboot has given me.
I never would have expected my 44th birthday to be a Big One™, but here we are. Let’s check-in and see how my seven things are working out.
- Drink less beer.
I completely quit drinking in January. I just counted, and it’s been 196 days. For someone who loves beer and bourbon and whisky, and pre-prohibition cocktails as much as I do, I would expect this to be the hardest part of the whole thing, but it really isn’t. Compared to my other goals and changes, it’s honestly the easiest thing. There are times I miss having a drink, but I don’t miss feeling buzzed or even drunk. I don’t miss turning off feelings and avoiding uncomfortable emotions. I didn’t realize it when I made this list, but this thing was the first entry because it’s the foundation of the reboot, and the cornerstone that supports all the other things.
At some point in the future, I may have a drink once in awhile, but my days of having a drink and then another and then another and then inviting the Bad Idea Bears to party with me and go shopping online are over. I don’t miss it at all, and (I think I’ve said this in previous updates) what I give up is just tiny in comparison to what I get back. Grade: A+
- Read more (and Reddit does not count as reading).
I didn’t think this was going to get a good grade this month, because I haven’t finished any books. But then I realized that I’ve been reading every night, and I actually did finish a bunch of things, if I count graphic novels and trade paperbacks as books. Which I do, because I’m an adult, and I get to decide what that means. I read for two primary reasons: to nourish and enrich myself, and to get inspired. One of the things I’m writing is probably going to end up being a graphic novel or series of comics someday, so reading all the Outcast trades, every issue of Bitch Planet, The Fade Out, and Wicked + Divine is not just enjoyable and entertaining, it’s inspiring me to make something that lives up to their example. I’m also reading lots of short fiction in LIghtspeed and from around the Internet, and that’s helping me be a better short story writer. So while I haven’t finished and 500+ page books, I have read a lot, and I have gotten a lot out of it. Grade: A+
- Write more.
I wrote my keynote address for Mensa, I am nearly finished with the puke draft of a short story, and I broke a story that’s been an idea on the whiteboard for at least a year. It isn’t writing, but I made a thing where there wasn’t a thing before. I mention this because I could easily have substituted “Create more” for “Write more” on the list. I didn’t know it when I made the list, but what I needed to do more than anything else was find my way back to my Art (yeah, it’s capitalized. Yeah, that’s a little too precious. I need it to be that important in my life, so there it is). Writing is a huge part of my Art, but so is creating things, whether they are photographs, or podcasts, or TV Crimes. I’ve been working every week on an animated series that I can’t talk about, so I’m doing good work as an actor, and even though my heart breaks every single time I see something about the new MST3K that I’m not part of, and even though I get unreasonably dejected when casting news about Ready Player One or American Gods comes out, I haven’t completely given up on good on-camera acting jobs coming my way again. Hell, my work on Powers is really, really good, and if it was on network TV so more industry people saw it, I bet it would lead to some auditions or meetings.
But this is, technically, about writing. And since I’ve been writing every day, even if it’s just a few hundred words at a time, I’m doing it. The goal is “write more” not “write everything”. So my grade, including extra credit for the other stuff: A+
- Watch more movies.
Anne and I watched the entire season of Stranger Things. That, alone, would earn me an A this month. We also watch Outcast, and we’ve been taking in amazing movies, like Green Room, Blue Ruin, The Witch, and The Long Goodbye. The point of watching more movies is just like the point of reading more: to not just be entertained, but to be challenged and inspired. That’s happening every day for me. In fact, I don’t know exactly what it will be, but before the end of the year, I will write and produce a short film of my own, just because I want need to do it. It doesn’t need to be super complicated or ambitious. Just something with two or three characters that I can shoot with my DSLR and edit in iMovie. The more movies I watch, the more great performances I see, the more they inspire me and challenge me to make my own thing. Grade: A+
- Get better sleep.
My friend, Sean Bonner, convinced me to try this thing that sounds really, really dumb: about an hour before bed, put on these hideous orange goggles that block the blue light spectrum. I guess the blocking of blue light tells our caveman brains that we don’t need to go hunting, so we can relax and go to sleep. It works so well, I don’t need to take gabapentin or anything to help me go to sleep. I’m sleeping restfully every night, rarely going over 8 hours, and waking up feeling like I actually recharged my body overnight. I know that not drinking and cutting out its sugars has been a huge part of this, but the difference between the pre-hideous-orange-goggles era and now is remarkable. But I’ve officially made it a habit to not force myself to stay up and play video games or fuck off online looking for the end of the Internet or anything stupid like that. I finish my day, I go to sleep, and I get rest. It’s a huge part of taking good care of myself, and it’s working. Grade: A+
- Eat better food.
Before I rebooted, I was just eating garbage. I don’t eat fast food, and I don’t eat a lot of sugar, but my nutrition was awful. My diet was terrible, and I had no concept of macronutrients or why their balance is important. My son, Nolan, really helped me learn how to think of my food as energy and nutrition and fuel for my body (while still indulging in ice cream and stuff, in moderation). It isn’t that hard once it becomes a habit, but making it a habit is a challenge, especially when you’re lazy like I am. But I’ve stayed pretty focused on this, and even when I’ve been on the road or in a hurry, I do the best that I can. I always grade myself on a curve, though, and I haven’t done as well with food and nutrition as I could this month. I made some chocolate chip cookies, and I’ve fallen into the habit of eating ice cream almost every night. I can do better, and I have to, if I’m going to make the last 2-3 pounds come off. Grade: B+
- Exercise more.
I’ve only run four times since June 29th. Considering I want to run at least 4 times a week, that’s nowhere close to where I want to be. I’ll cut myself a little slack, because I was on vacation for a week of this month, and I spent most of that vacation taking walks and swimming like crazy. I also walk my dogs, but not every day (or every other day when I’m running at least 4 days a week). The truth is, I’ve just been lazy, and it shows. Yeah, I hurt my hip again, and it’s been really, really hot here, but those are just excuses. In a month where everything else is going so well, this stands out as a big disappointment that needs a lot of improvement. Grade: D
Okay, so it looks like it was a pretty good month. Let’s total it up and find out what my overall grade is… 30/30, after factoring in the extra credit. However, I’m taking two points off for the D in exercise, because physical fitness is as important as mental fitness, especially for someone who is now 44.
Final grade for July: A (28/30)
That’s really good, and it reflects how I feel, generally. I’m happier than I’ve been in years. I’m more peaceful, more content, more productive, and more satisfied than I’ve been in months. The whole point of the reboot was to look at my body and life as an operating system that was really fucked up, and needed to be reset (and in some cases, recompiled from source). I can honestly and unabashedly say that it’s working.
But this isn’t a destination, this is a journey, and where I have put myself right now is the best birthday present I could have hoped to give myself this year.
Happy Birthday! Thanks for the update. It’s an inspiration.
Happy Birthday, Wil! You’ve made this past year really great for many of us. Glad to hear you are enjoying your day and trust this year will also be grrreat!
Happy Birthday. Glad this one’s better for ya.
Happy Birthday Wil Wheaton! Congrats on the reboot, and live long and prosper.
Happy Birthday! Also I’m so sorry you are not a part of Ready Player One because that would have been the only reason I would have watched it.
Wil,
Have you ever done a triathlon? Signing up for a race provided the impetus for training, while physical therapy and gait analysis supported my aging body.
Long live the revolutions! It’s the end and the beginning of a long strange trip around the sun, and I’m glad you made this go-around with us.
Something in the way you write sparks things in the back of my brain, making me look at my stuff a little differently than I have been. I love this about your Art.
You are so very, very excellent. Thank you.
Happy birthday. And all kinds of #yayyou for how great your reboot is going for you…sticking to things is all kinds of awesome. And thank you for sharing your process, it’s inspiring.
Happy birthday! And thanks for the updates on your reboot. I really enjoy reading them.
I’m going to try the orange goggle thing.
I hope you continued to have the happiest of birthdays after you wrote this update. I love that you sit down every month and assess your reboot. Holding ourselves accountable for what we have (and haven’t) accomplished is a necessary part of any life change. Your reboot is inspiring my own, in part because you made your goals (read more, create more, etc.) easily assessable and ongoing. I feel as though you’re probably never going to hit the point where you say, “ok. I’ve read everything I ever wanted to read in my whole life, so I need to make a new goal.”
Too many times, I’ve given myself a concrete end goal (lose a certain amount of weight, for example) that would fall by the wayside when I wasn’t reaching that goal fast enough or when I would hit a plateau and progress would stall for several weeks. If my goals had been to exercise more and nourish myself better, I could have (and will this time around) stuck with it since I could objectively assess my performance of those goals by my own actions instead of numbers on a scale. Also, walking your dogs and swimming counts as exercise, even if you’re not running.
So, Wil Wheaton, life coach, thanks for inspiring me to reboot my own life AND to play more more games. Happy birthday, a day late.
Happy Birthday, Wil! It’s so inspiring to hear you sharing your self-care and introspection! I hope you had a most wonderful day! ☺
Happy Birthday! I didn’t know about Tabletop and now feel like a jerk for just tweeting you birthday greetings saying how much my girls and I like it. D’oh. Glad things are on the upswing for you!
Happy birthday Wil! You’re my hero and I’m glad to see you’re doing well. 🙂 I’m looking forward to seeing the new season of Tabletop whenever you release that (it and Titansgrave) and I hope this time around it’s a lot more fun for you. 🙂
Happy Birthday! Keep up the good work.
Thanks. I found you at the time of the original Reboot post, and each post — especially this one — gives me hope for my own life reboot. Mine is more of a middle-aged “I’ve just woken up and found myself in a life I hate and don’t even recognize and this ALL has to change or what is the point” reboot, but still, it has to involve some of the things you’ve been rebooting here too. Glad you’re doing well.
It’s extraordinary what a difference quality sleep makes.
Happy birthday, Wil!
And nice month this month! I, too, haven’t been running. It’s July. I live in Texas (sigh). Yeah…nope. It’s allowed in July. 😉
Dear Mr. Wheaton: As a mom, reading what you wrote made me want to do 2 things; hug you & say, “Aw, honey…” & tell you how proud & happy I was by the end. My boys are 31 & 24. We loved your Wil Wheaton Project program. Good luck with you “self” project. It sounds as though you are a great success already. Sorry I’m late with birthday wishes. I wish good things for you…(blows out a candle)
Happy Belated Birthday Mr. Wheaton. I love your cameo roles on Big Bang Theory. Tara Kimberley Torme, Vancouver, BC, Canada
Beautiful. Happy Birthday and Congratulations and Thank You for being such an inspiration!
Happy 44th YesterBirthday, Mr. Wheaton.
I had been away from weblog reading for a while and didn’t know about someone involved with Tabletop hurting you so much. Simply horrible, and I’m am pleased that you are past it and are doing good for yourself.
Happy (Belated) Birthday, Will! I’m glad a return to writing has proven therapeutic for you. I’ve always felt that way about my own literary creations. It’s been especially challenging for me, since my father passed away last month. After my nerves had settled down a little, I began working again on a new novel. And I feel so much better now! It didn’t remove the pain of losing my dad, but I know he’d urge me not to give up anyway.
At one point, many years ago, both my parents were disappointed when I told them my career goal was to become a writer. They reacted as if I’d hoped to become a professional gambler. Ultimately, though, they realized writing is where my true passion lies.
Keep fighting and keep writing, brother!
Thank you so much for sharing all this. I woke up this morning, read this, and went back and reread your entire past year. It has really inspired me to pull up out of the death spiral I am currently in and see if I can get any better.
Your inspirations and your processes for overcoming obstacles speak to me, and make improvements seem really possible.
And it beats hell out of sitting around waiting to die.
Thanks.
I enjoyed the entirety of Stranger Things. Though it’s not as great as some of my other recent long-TV faves like Fargo, Les Revenants, and Preacher — which are both pushing all time classic status — it was quite entertaining.
I loved The Modine as scowling Not Cancer Man, and Ryder was obnoxious and shrill, as the character was meant to be, as the loving mom.
I am in a country where the beer sucks, so my beer intake has been limited to a bottle or two a week. I just don’t see the point of drinking piss water just to get a fix. Much of the planet has devolved into local branded, factory produced Bud Light knock-offs. So have made it a once a week, twice a month thing at the few decent local watering holes like the Paulaner Brew House.
The air in this third world city is literally some of the worst on the planet. I bike a lot and played basketball, and it brought me back to my golden days in another third world city called Los Angeles in the 1970s. Where, after a run or game of whiffleball in the park, my tiny lungs would burn with an elegant and rich melange of plutonium, ozone, benzene, and whatever else the fawk comes out of car and factory holes when corporations and the people who run them just don’t give a rat’s.
Also, I read.
In addition, the second ever public roller rink (first was NYC) was opened in Newport, RI in 1866.
The more you know!
Happy Birthday, Wil! I’m bummed you won’t be at Gen Con (had a place at the Secret Cabal Table for you and Anne), but super-pleased to read the reboot continues a’pace! Thanks for being instrumental in the modern tabletop Renaissance.
Happy Birthday!
You are an inspiration!
Happy birthday!
I’m glad things are going well. Running is good… but have you ever considered weightlifting?
Get you a gym membership and start picking up and setting down plates of steel. Strength training is really good for you.
I have been lifting for 20 years. I’ll be 36 in a month, and I have to say that I have developed osteoarthritis and am not able to lift as much weight as I could in my 20’s… but I am still in there killing myself four days a week (arm day, leg day, chest day, and back day).
You might have better genes than me and your joints might not try to kill you like mine are, which I hope is the case. You would definitely want to start out slow, though. If you just go in there HeMan’ing it like your muscles are not deconditioned like the January first crowd always does, then you will suffer what I call “lactic acid hell” for at least a week, in whatever muscles you worked the hardest.
NEVER have your first day as leg day. If you value things like being able to walk, and being able to sit on the toilet without crying, then you want to work your upper body first to have that worst lactic acid shock in a muscle group that is easier to not wince every time you move. So for that, I would recommend probably your chest or your arms. Actually, that is a pretty good idea. If you ever do want to start working out, on that first day, work your chest and your arms. Then go back in 2 days and do your back and your shoulders. Then 2 days later, do the legs. By then you will have taken the edge off the lactic acid assault. It will still hurt, you will still have delayed onset muscle soreness, BUT it will be bearable.
I’m late but many happy returns, Wil! I’m 42 tomorrow and while outwardly I maybe don’t look like I need a reboot things definitely aren’t working as well as they could, physically. So, yeah, you’re an inspiration to get my godawful nutrition sorted, take more exercise and sort out a skincare regime. I have fabulous youthful, slim-making genes (thanks, Mum!) but can’t rely on them forever!
Happy Birthday Wil, and gratz.
Would you mind sharing what kind of glasses you are wearing to block blue spectrum?
Thanks!
Congrats on making all the changes and sticking to it. I’m glad you had a better year. Thanks for sharing everything. Oh, and Happy 44th!
Happy birthday, Wil! I’m sorry to hear what happened to you last year, but I’m happy to hear this year has been so much better. <3
Happy Happy Happy Belated Birthday Wil—I wanted to wish you on your day and then (here’s my excuse–wait for it—was in a car accident, hit by someone playing PokémonGo!! (seriously, her car was totaled, air bags burst and she still didn’t let go of the phone))……so I hope you had an amazing day and I loved reading your check in…my birthday wish for you is that your next year continues upward and you have another great post like this a year from now. Your posts here are challenging to all of us to examine our own lives and work on making them ever better. I’ve been following them all year and enjoying how you are doing and also how they bring up possibilities for me in my life. Hooray!
Happy (belated) birthday!
It’s a brave thing you are doing- being transparent about your choices and your persistence in maintaining them. I’m glad to see that you have done quite well in your commitment to yourself.
I couldn’t make the Mensa AG this year and really appreciated that you put your speech online.
I’ve done the sleep choice and have an alarm set to remind me to go to sleep so that I get a minimum of 8 hours. It really does make a difference.
May I suggest non-dairy nut mylk based substitutes for the ice cream? It doesn’t drop the sugar, but it at least drops the cholesterol from the milk. Frozen fruit juice pops (read your ingredients carefully) are another good alternative treat, lower in calories. And of course, the best option is just plain raw fruit, fiber rich, and likely lower glycemic than the other two options. Sometimes it helps to ease into new dietary/lifestyle habits.
I agree with everyone else that all the walking makes up for the lack of running. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Any exercise is better than none.
Anyway – I wish you much wonderfulness and success in all your endeavors!
I know how transformation can feel like winning small battles, but can you try and challenge your self to find your edge? I dare you to make a Wayne’s World spoof with your son. A journey into yoga pants, a montage of fitness feats, a culmination of weeks of adventures with the dogs and family members in Wayne’s World cosplay!
Congrats on more reading. Reading stretches your mind. I tend to read mysteries because I like puzzles, but I read location mysteries because I like History. Writers like Steven Saylor, Ruth Downie, Lindsey Davis and Robert Harris can give you both the fun of the chase and a good dose of general history. These are mainly Roman history, but there are plenty of authors writing in Medieval or even in locations. For contemporary writing you can’t beat Dean Koontz or Neil Gaiman. Neil is a force of nature. Every book he’s written surprises me. Sir Terry Prachett is also a great read-his Discworld series being a humorous fantasy indictment of society. As for non-fiction the best book I’ve read lately is The History of Color which is an amazing trip around the world and through time to find how our world became this beautiful colorful world we live in now.
I have to tell you, while it was the worst day for you– and I’m so very sorry to hear that, no one should have a crappy birthday– you signed a birthday card for my wife on a postcard when you didn’t have to, and I can’t tell you how much she appreciated it. She keeps it on her mirror, where she sees it every day, and it always makes her smile. You made her birthday, and you made me the hero of the year. You’re an awesome guy, and I know I said “thank you” then, but I have to say “thank you” again now. It was the best, and so are you.
-Ben.
Hey Wil, I just watched the first season of tabletop and loved it! After reading your comments about the season 2 drama, I was wondering which episodes of season 2 you think I should watch and which ones you would want me to avoid. Thanks!
Happy Belated Birthday Wil! We all have our “turning points in the war” on our life path. I am glad you have found yours. Be well.
Sorry I’m late but Happy Birthday!!!!! And it is so good to hear that you are making so much progress
Thanks for sharing your journey with us Wil. Well done and happy belated birthday.
If you don’t mind me asking, in regards to your daily food habits what do you find yourself eating? Do you have a set schedule for when you eat meals and/or snacks or do you refuel as needed when you start feeling tired?
I’m struggling with eating better but I’m finding that the more veges and good foods I eat the more my body wants and craves those good foods. But I’m very interested in the nutritional paths other people have taken to successfully reboot their food habits.
I start every day with a protein smoothie, because putting protein into my body after 8 or 10 hours of fasting tells it “hey, wake up and get the metabolism going”. It makes a big difference.
I do my best to eat small meals throughout the day, but I usually end up having lunch about 6 hours after I wake up, and then dinner 4 hours or so after that.
Tracking my meals and snacks, as well as my macronutrients, makes it much easier to stay on target.
Hi Wil,
I’m pretty sure you won’t see this, buried among other comments, but I’ve been looking for a place to say this out loud and I sure hope this is ok and a safe place to say it.
Firstly, Happy Birthday! I’m extraordinarily happy for you that your life reboot has created so much joy in your life. I’m inspired by it. Which leads me to…
Secondly… boy. I’ve had a hard year, this past 12 months or so. I’ll spare you all the details and summarize by saying: I made a poor decision about some living arrangements, and my self-confidence suffered. I gained back 50lbs of weight that I’d worked really hard to lose. I went from feeling somewhat safe in my life to not feeling safe at all. I went from feeling free to feeling stuck.
I’m trying to fight my way back to feeling confident, healthy, safe, and unstuck. (I feel like this sounds all so stupid melodramatic. Gross. I’m sorry.)
Anyway, you asked yourself 4 questions a year ago and you shared them with us in this post. I wrote them down using a black sharpie on a yellow post-it, and I’m going to write and re-write them until I come up with the right answers for me. Thank you for sharing the questions, for sharing your life reboot, and for sharing so openly with us.
Longtime lurker, wishing you a happy birthday and an awesome upcoming year,
weegi
happy bday will- hope u and anne are enjoying it together and it seems like ur making it count in a big way- keep it coming and let the good feels start to come your way once again!
Happy birthday, Wil!
Very motivating to hear what you are going through. As you speak of being 44 I hear you, I am several years behind you in age but definitely feeling that need to get things improved in my life.
Hi
I am older than you. I can relate on the exercise thing. Except are you not supposed to be super human nannite infused? (Dark Matter) Or something like that? Was it vegimite infused? Jesting with you!
It is a good day when you get to make your own pain (by having sore muscles)after dealing Sith an injury. Happy Birthday! Late!! Sorry to hear about drama with Tabletop. I enjoyed your games.
I got inspired to make a construction paper set of Tsuro by the Sea & I am half way done. I decided to use extra tiles with no path on them to lay down every other tile rather than have a board to lay the path making tiles on. I think this will work better. My friends & I will spend the money saved on pizza, most likely. If we enjoy it, we will do a set of wood.
I like you being brave about depression & other things. I feel we should be idealists & noble heroes but in actuality that might mean just taking out the trash or smiling politely at the incompent appearing store clerk rather than becoming ill tempered. We (you & I) might be of like mind that way. Best wishes!
The hubs and I binge watched Stranger Things and loved it too. I also finished reading Girl with All the Gifts, really good.
Happy belated birthday! I’m glad this was a better one than the last.
Hey Wil, I love reading your posts every month, it really has inspired me. My husband and I have found that where we live is not really working for us, and since we spend so much time in Nashville, TN we are looking for a job for him and a place where after i finish my schooling i can open my own practice for battered women and abused children. I have even looked for apartments that have a great gym and are close to everything so we are forced to walk everywhere. Thank you for inspiring me and my husband to take life by the horns and make it count. Also, we just finished watching stranger things also, what did you think of the ending? Well, praying you keep up the great work! Peace out!
Awesome Wil – Keep charging, love your comic book goals, and short goals 😉 can totally relate to most everything you have penned out for us all… Have a great day!!! More Power to you 🙂
Happy birthday! (Belated.) It sounds like you’ve done wonderfully this year, may that wonder continue forward… ♡