I’ve been reading all the comments so many of you left on my last post, and I wanted to take a moment to thank you for your kindness. It really does mean a lot to me, and it really does make a big difference, to know that I’m not the only creative person who is struggling right now, and has been struggling this entire year. It means so much to me that so many of you who are reading this took a moment to let me know that you’re there, and that you care about what I make.
The Internet in 2017 (at least in my personal experience, which is absolutely affected by my depression) is so flooded by casual cruelty, it is overwhelming and suffocating and exhausting. Thank you for showing and reminding me that good and kind people are in this world. Thank you for taking the time and making the effort to reach out to me. You didn’t have to do that, and I’m very grateful that you did.
I went to my brain doctor a few days ago, and talked with him about how much I’ve been struggling. I told him how bad I’ve been feeling, and how hard it’s been for me to do any of the creative things that I’ve always loved to do. He told me that a lot of his patients are having the most challenging year they’ve had in a long time, so it’s not just me. We talked about some different things we could do, and decided to change up my meds a little bit. The adjustment has been tough for the last few days, but I woke up this morning feeling hopeful and … well, not joyful or even happy, but at least I didn’t feel bad. I know that doesn’t sound like much of an improvement, but it really is. It’s going to take another ten to fourteen days for my brain to fully adjust, but I’m hopeful and optimistic that this is going to help me get back to feeling like a person, instead of a bag of failure and sadness.
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Glad you are feeling better. best wishes that each day continues the improvement.
It makes my day to see that you’re feeling hopeful. I was so saddened by your last post because I can relate so much. Really appreciate your work and that you share yourself with us. Here’s to hopefulness!
I am glad your medicine has been able to help you. I read your stuff often, This year has sucked giant donkey balls. Mentally these last few years has been some of the toughest on me in my life. I am still trying to learn how to deal. It will get better.
Anytime. We like Funny-Goodtimes Wil, but we love Angry-Sadtimes Wil. Because he needs it more.
I am really glad that your feeling better at least just a little and even gladder theres something called a brain doctor I’m hoping his office has brains in jars and a assistant called Igor
I really hope that you get to feeling, if not great, at least better. What you do and say helps a lot of us with our own problems in this difficult time, so we definitely don’t want to lose anything that can bring a glimmer of happiness to us. Stay strong, Wil. We’re all behind you.
Wil, I just want you to know as a fellow creator, I love what you do, man. I can’t seem to fathom what you’re going through, but we’re all here with you. If you ever need a complete stranger to talk to, or bounce ideas off of that are sworn to life secrecy, I’m here brother.
PS: Table Top is fucking awesome.
Wil:
I’d like to thank you for being willing to be so open and forthcoming about your life, how you feel, and how it effects you. You make a difference to many of us out here, myself included, to know that we aren’t alone. It makes me fight harder, and it helped me finally stop trying to deal with it myself and seek treatment again after so many years of “I’m ok, I got this. I’m ok, I got this. I’m ok, I got this.”. I didn’t “have this” and I knew it. You, and many others, inspire me to remember that above all, I have to take care of me. That alone is my responsibility. You show me that the fight is real, and it’s able to be overcome.
So from the bottom of my heart, Wil……. THANK YOU!!
Eric
That’s wonderful! High five!
Be sure to also followup with self care – Chocolate or coffee, time to just sit and enjoy a favorite food or drink, sitting down with a pet, reading a book quietly, taking a walk, warm showers or baths and aromatherapy, hugging your family. Show yourself that you love yourself with all those things that give you little pleasure and serotonin boosts every day. You are worth it!
First: I’m so, so glad to hear that you saw your doctor and are trying out new solutions which are proving helpful. I just saw my own doctor, and while we decided not to mess with my meds yet, that’s an option which is on the table. Just knowing that is helpful to me.
Second: I’m glad you’re feeling less alone. Reading your post helped me realize that I’m not alone, and that was helpful to me, so thank you for that. I love that your writing went in all directions and helped so many people.
Third: Just a reminder that you’re a good person and that you spread good in the world. The internet does seem cruel these days, but when I focus on the good spots (you, Anne, John Scalzi, etc.) I feel more hopeful, and I genuinely believe that you and people like you are making a positive difference in beating back that cruelty.
I hope that this adjustment is the start of a wave of good coming your way, and that 2018 is a kinder, healthier year than 2016 and 2017 were, for you and for all of us. I, for one, am wishing you all the very best.
I’m so glad you’re starting to feel better! I don’t think it will make any of the horrible stuff going on in the world any better, but it will hopefully make you feel more energized and positive about doing what you can to make things better and remembering that you matter and you do make people’s lives better. YOU GOT THIS!
Glad you are feeling better. 2017 has been a long and stressful year. It’s hard to turn on the news or open up a web browser without feeling frustrated, angry, or hopeless. Knowing when, and who, to ask for help when it gets to be too much is crucial. I look forward to hearing more of your voice and thoughts in 2018!
Hey Wil. Glad to read this. You are one of the good guys and it sucks when good people have bad days. Depression sucks and it sucks this year the most. Keep up with the good work. I enjoy you stuff. I enjoy your constant burrito shaming of Scalzi. Open invitation to play hockey in Minnesota any time. Just keep on being the good dude you are.
I deeply appreciate the way that you have used your voice on the internet this year. You have spoken for the resistance, reminded all of us repeatedly that depression lies and still spread joy. This year has been exhausting. I feel like the white noise of anxiety has been buzzing extra loudly making it hard to focus on the things I love to do. We will all get through this one day, one hour or one minute at a time. Be well.
Wil, I am glad you took the action you needed (seeing your doc/ adjusting your meds). I am in no way qualified to be giving advice except that I live with someone who is bipolar, and suffer from anxiety,and have suffered from depression. Have you tried Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT)? It was like a magic bullet for my wife. She still occasionally gets depressed, but the events are much shorter, and she recognizes them coming on much sooner, so we are better able to cope with them. It has helped with many of her interpersonal coping skills as well. I highly recommend looking into it.
I would also like to give some encouragement over this crap-hole of a year. Although I was disgusted that Roy Moore almost won in Alabama, and relieved that he did not, what did give me encouragement beyond Doug Jone’s win, is that not only was the black vote instrumental in avoiding that disaster, so was the young vote. It re-enforces what I saw at the Women’s March in DC the beginning of this year. About half of the marchers were too young to have voted in the last general election, but many of them will be old enough to vote in the mid-terms, and even more in the next general. This will be seen as a dark time in our history, and some of the damage will take a long time to recover from (if ever), but I am encouraged that it will be a short dark time and we will likely live to see it come to a close.
Looking forward to you feeling better so that I can read more of your work….. no pressure 🙂
Life spins on a dime, sometimes for the worse, sometimes for the better. Never give up before your stories have a chance to be told.
I’d like to give thanks to you. In a previous post you recommended ‘Steal Like an Artist’… this book helped me at a low point in my mind as it did from an ‘Artist’s’ point of view. So thanks again.
Non mollare, tieni duro. Ho cominciato a seguirti quasi per caso, adesso sono felice di averlo fatto. Non arrenderti.
<3
Wil, thank you for sharing your personal struggle. As a writer you must know how much it helps to write it out. I am sure you do so. Have you written down what success means to you? What you have to do to consider yourself successful? If not, please do, so the next time you feel like a failure you can look to see how much of your success list you have accomplished and see you really are not a failure. The only way you fail is to stop trying. As long as you are trying, you are winning. The sadness is harder. Everyday, every moment you have to look for your happiness. Find a reason to smile. Not at all easy, but once again, if you are trying, you are winning. Most importantly you must reject the negative messages that seep in your day and only allow positivity. You got this Wil Wheaton. There are literally thousands of people who have your back…many more than most people have. Mostly you have to have your back. Don’t fail Wil. Keep trying. You are winning.
I think many of us are struggling this year. Hopefully this new med helps you feel back to your normal creative self. People didn’t have to reach out to you, but you don’t have to put yourself out like you do.
Stay positive! Glad to hear everybody cheered you up a bit 🙂
I am so happy that you are taking care of you. And thank you for writing this. I’m wallowing in a blue fog right now and it is helpful somehow to read about other people’s experiences.
It is said that our best writing comes from the worst places in our lives. and that the process can help us deal with the pain. No one ever said, though, that it was easy, or that it was quick. The public events of the past year have hit many of us the same as a personal tragedy. I felt it, and so did many other writers I know. Recovering from these blows takes a while. You have to allow yourself time to confront, understand, and deal with whatever issues are troubling you. After that you can begin to heal, and perhaps, use the pain creatively. But there is no timeline, no schedule, no deadline. Just breathe. You’ll get there.
Wil, thank you for all of the joy you have brought me and my family with your creative work: from TableTop, to Just A Geek, to narrating Ready Player One, to CYOA (even one in a library! with kids!), to Dead Trees Give No Shelter. I hope your brain stops being a jerk to you again soon!
I have gone through times of trial and tribulation when I found it very hard to see the end of the pain. The worst times were when I lost hope and fell into a fog of what seemed to be only suffocating despair. The world was murky and claustrophobic; I was churning inside but felt paralyzed by my circumstances. I found the best way to get to a better place was to breathe, to bring light to the physical and emotional pain, learning to release those, and then concentrate on those things that made me happy. I always feel like the fog is hanging out nearby; on some very few occasions, I forget that it is there. My advice is to make personal connections so that you don’t settle into the fog. Personally, I do not love being super social, preferring the quietness of my own company, so this sometimes causes me more anxiety but ultimately I found that having a few people around can be very helpful. Another thing is meditation and yoga. A 5-10 minute meditation in the morning, a half hour before sleep, and whenever I feel the fog creeping in during the day. Keep on keeping on. The fog may never disappear but it can lessen enough so that you can recognize, feel, and enjoy the positive energy. Oh, another thing is to volunteer to help those who believe it or not have less than you. Sometimes I find building a fire for others builds the fire inside me. Much love and good will to you. In the meantime, I hope the meds help and don’t let your mind get the best of you.
Keep trying Wil! You are an inspiration to me as a fellow writer with mental health issues.
Glad to hear that Mr W, hoping that the drugs do work
Somehow you and I seem to be on a similar schedule for checking with our docs for our brain care (not being all stalky, just noticing a pattern in timing of other posts mentioning such). I have mine tomorrow. Let’s keep taking care of ourselves. General Organa would have wanted it.
Hey man, I hope things continue to trend upwards for you. I’m rooting for you.
Hugs to you, Wil! Of course hugs to Anne as well! Miss seeing you at cons, but I understand. I’m feeling it too. I should be in the holiday spirit, but I’m creatively & emotionally absent. I spend 2-3+ hours in traffic every day for the past almost 2 years and it’s finally hitting me. Here it is, the most important holiday for me (Star Wars Release Day) and I’m even having a hard time being in that mood. Of course Space Mom would tell me to start back on my meds…but the side effects are rough and I’m making that excuse. It’s a cycle.
Glad to hear you’re having a better day. I’ve been watching a bunch of Tabletop again recently, and it reminds me of how much I love playing games and how your enthusiasm for games is what drove that show (and hopefully, drives it again some day).
You always say “depression lies”, and I think we can apply that rule to the outside world right now. It’s telling us “things are always going to be awful, and horrible, and the world is full of monsters who are getting away with it.”
You know what? IT LIES. Good things happen too.
Think nothing of it, good sir! What else are fans and internet friends for? 😉 Things will get better.
I have followed you for years in one way or another, from The Guild, to Tabletop, movies, TV and the written word. I hadn’t actually picked up one of your books though, until last week. I fell in love with your talent all over again. You are a treasure. With the state of the world today, there are a lot of intelligent people having a hard time coping with the reality we face. This shit is messed up. We will persist. air hugs
I’m really glad to hear this Wil. You’ve also struck a chord in me with this comment, and I hope others. Although happiness and joy are the goal, “not feeling bad” is a big improvement, and sometimes even that much can seem beyond our reach!
Good Luck and I hope you have a wonderful holiday season with your family and friends!
Sending some love your way. <3
We are certainly TOTALLY behind you and send lots of good wishes and love! I struggle with depression, but this T-year has pushed all of us nearly over the edge! We need to stick together, and we will overcome! Mom told me that when you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on! We love you and your work! We’ll all get through this and hope for another Obama on the other side to fix up the Assaulter-in- Chief’s damages! Take are!!!
Glad you are starting to feel better. I agree – the internet has been getting a lot more mean and negative this past year. I have disconnected for weeks at a time because I cannot take it any more. Just remember you are a ray of sunshine in a shit pool of negativity for many of us.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts about your struggle, it helps to know that other people are also struggling and finding ways to make things better. I’m glad to hear that you are having a better day, sometimes that’s all you can ask for.
Your doctor is not wrong – many of the creative people I know have been having a terrible time of it of late. It feels like the world is burning and it’s taking all our energy to cope, with very little left over. I got a new musical instrument late last summer and I’ve not touched it in over a year. So srsly, it’s not just you.
Added in to the holiday season which is already an emotional minefield for so many of us, and it’s the cherry on the sundae of suck right now.
I’m glad you made the effort to check your meds, and hope things brighten up a bit for you soon
2017 is going into the record books as the craziest so know that it is not just you. It started with so much hope and promise for us but it’s been a tough one employment-wise, money-wise, health-wise and generally luck-wise. As it comes to a close, there is a small glimmer of hope. Things might be falling into place for us to finally open our retro arcade, two years in the making.
Thank you for posting great stuff. Both you and Anne fill my feed with happiness. Know that I smile everytime I see your daily bedhead.
Merry Christmas!
Glad you’re feeling better. I’ve had zero motivation and no christmas spirit which is bad because i love christmas. I talked to my brain doctor but me being stubborn said i want to try to power through even though i keep slipping further, but if I’m still feeling this way or worse i might go up. I’m being proactive like forcing myself to socialize once a week if I’m not depressed i do something 3-5 times a week. Like i don’t know the last time i was this unmotivated And I’ve been crying randomly why? I don’t know i really don’t. My doctor wants me to go on a 15 minute walk at least once a week. I havent because its cold. I had 3 days where i didnt sleep. And been having nightmares on some of the days i do sleep. Which never happens.i took 2 3 hour naps yesterday and slept 12 hours and I’m still tired and unmotivated But yeah i read your last post didn’t comment i should’ve. I personally think you’re an awesome person even if sometimes depression lies and tells you otherwise. What I’m trying to say is you arent alone. And reaallly happy you’re feeling better even if just slightly
The only way we’re getting through this is sticking together.
I’ve always appreciated your candor, openness and fearlessness when sharing your thoughts, self-analysis and insight on society at large. Your honesty is appreciated by your followers and deepens our loyalty to you. Being on meds myself, I can identify, and the fact that you don’t gloss over your experience further exemplifies your relatability. Thank you…We love and appreciate you!
Just because yesterday sucked, doesn’t mean today or tomorrow has to. My business coach encouraged me to make a list of my joys – things that I love to do. When I’m feeling super stressed (like I am now), I turn to that list and I do one of them or make plans to do one if it’s a bigger day long joy. Be sure to do it – even if you don’t feel like it, you will be glad you did after you do it. Walk – this helps…just get your ass out there and walk…loops are best, the back and forth sucks, but that’s just me. Like the other person said above me, life is full of cycles…when you’re up, know you’re going to hit a valley at some point – but, when you’re in a valley – KNOW things will be good again. Take good care of yourself Wil…I don’t normally write to celebrities, but when I do – it’s to awesome people like you.
I hate medication ajustments sometimes you have to go through the guinea pig stage. But nobody is alone in depression. You of all people know that. By being open with your battle it gives us the ability to stand together separately. I feel you. I had three surgeries this fall almost died. I had a ton of prayers from monks in the oldest church in Ireland to my atheist brother in law. It didn’t matter what I believed cause I’m relatively agnostic but it was that they all believed in me. I felt like a waste of their good energy I couldn’t find stregnth to pick up a guitar, paint or even want to go see myself the film I was already in. My creative juices were tapped. It’s Christmas and I have not even put up the tree for the kids yet. Maybe I will do it today. Thank will I hope we all get our mojo back.
If one of the reasons you have been feeling like crap this year is political, maybe the Alabama election will help to lift your spirits. A bit of faith in humanity. Or at least hope for the future.
I’m glad you actually go to your doctor and keep working with your illness, trying different things to keep managing it. My peri-menopausal brain coupled with my chronic depression is having rough go of life this year, as well. There are days when I can’t think of the simplest words. The worst is when that happens in class–I’m an English teacher. Fortunately, I teach in a high school with truly supportive students. They don’t know about my illness; they simply want to help me (or anyone, really). They fill in my blanks. Of course, there are students who are not helpful–they have their own troubles. That’s where my sense of humor comes to the rescue. Smiling is good all around.
We have your hand my friend. Be well.
I am glad that you’re doing better than the last time! I can understand where you are and I am glad that you have such a wonderful support network available to you! Be well, mr Wheaton.