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50,000 Monkeys at 50,000 Typewriters Can't Be Wrong

A flock of Seagals

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So my friend Bonnie Burton and I were making puns with Anne, and somehow we came up with “A flock of Steven Seagals“.

I got the image you see below in my head, commissioned artist Joshua Ellingson to draw it for me, and submitted the design to Cotton Bureau, where it will be available for two weeks before it’s gone forever.


This is one of those visual pun jokes that not everyone will get, but the people who get it will *totally* get it, you know? If you’re one of those people, I hope you’ll pick one up because I’d love to see one of these on someone out in the world, someday.


They are available in heather grey, light pink, and light blue, for maximum 80s.

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10 April, 2019 Wil

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horsin’ around → ← doubled up inside

21 thoughts on “A flock of Seagals”

  1. KimJ says:
    10 April, 2019 at 2:02 pm

    Bwhahahaha

  2. Stefan Dingenouts says:
    10 April, 2019 at 2:23 pm

    Well, I had to look it up because I didn’t know the band, but yeah if you know them it’s obvious :-p

  3. joshuamneff says:
    10 April, 2019 at 2:24 pm

    Current status: dying from laughter.

  4. Shayla Jacobsen says:
    10 April, 2019 at 2:37 pm

    Totally awesome!! The world is now complete!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

  5. Matt Strohbehn says:
    10 April, 2019 at 2:50 pm

    HORRIBLE PUN, so I like it! 🙂

  6. Keven Pruitt says:
    10 April, 2019 at 2:53 pm

    Awesome idea. Mine is already ordered. I hope you get a cut.

  7. halffastcyclingclub says:
    10 April, 2019 at 3:56 pm

    I’d heard of A Flock of Seagulls, but had never seen a picture (I’m old). I must say, he (Mike Score – or at least his hair) bears an uncanny resemblance to the president. Will there be a follow up with Katy Sagal, or is that too long a reach?

  8. heatherperdigon says:
    10 April, 2019 at 3:57 pm

    can’t breathe…laughing too hard…

  9. Jules Crego says:
    10 April, 2019 at 4:08 pm

    Some may appreciate this, related to Seven and T-Shirts story. Before I retired I worked with a bunch of tech people and we, as a group, bought a ping-pong table top so we could compete when we got together. I had a ‘Steven Seagal Marked for Death’ T-Shirt to one of these meets. Someone really liked it and asked if I’d trade. We agreed to have a ping-pong battle at our next gathering and the winner gets the T-Shirt, but I said hey, what do I get if I win? The fella said it’s be something good. When I arrived at said next meet, I went to my motel room and upon opening the door I saw laundry on the floor and figured they put me in the wrong room. I went back in as no one was there and was going to use the phone as I was a long way from the front desk. I was about to dial when it hit me… the laundry was all T-shirts, probably around 100, hanging everywhere, on the floor in the bathroom. That was my win for the Marked for Death T, if he won. Which he did. But I found a gem in the mix. It was a pic of a guy on a horse and was inscribed “Saddle Tramp”. I loved it!

  10. madmoravian says:
    10 April, 2019 at 6:10 pm

    As one who studies aikido and enjoys watching the “Lord of Pasta” in his younger training videos, I love this shirt. Well done, Wil!

  11. emelle28 says:
    10 April, 2019 at 8:52 pm

    This is an excellent shirt, but alas, I would never wear it. It is brilliant, though. Simply brilliant. I hope to see one in the wild, because then I’ll be able to comment/empathize/etc.

  12. Spudnuts says:
    11 April, 2019 at 1:15 am

    Next: a murder of (Russell) crowes.

    1. doctorwho0077 says:
      11 April, 2019 at 8:40 am

      Couting Crows.
      Killin Crows….
      Not murder, pest control.
      Crows are pests and vermin.
      Russell Crowe is a pest, you should not harm him however.

  13. Spudnuts says:
    11 April, 2019 at 1:19 am

    I’m going to leave this deep cut here for the true believers:

    That’s some vintage Newgrounds right there.

  14. mips42 says:
    11 April, 2019 at 7:47 am

    the last time I played D&D (way to long ago, now) I had a former sailor with his pet seagull, Steve. I totally got it.
    thanks for being you, wil.

  15. doctorwho0077 says:
    11 April, 2019 at 8:24 am

    That shirt in not complete, you should sign thrm then that would indeed ve something.

  16. Steve says:
    11 April, 2019 at 8:42 am

    More pun-based t-shirts please.

  17. Eric Yount says:
    11 April, 2019 at 11:59 am

    Next up, a Flock of Smeagols.

    1. joshuamneff says:
      11 April, 2019 at 12:38 pm

      With their new single “Third Age Love Song.”

  18. Will 2 L's says:
    11 April, 2019 at 12:43 pm

    Wheaton, you magnificent bastard I READ YOUR BOOK!
    …and I bought your shirt.

  19. Kari Larson says:
    13 April, 2019 at 3:23 pm

    This is amaaaaaaaazing. And I’m mad I missed your live Instagram! And that original Stimpy is the best. And I’m currently burrito-ed in a blanket of peri-menopausal anxiety/depression, so thanks for writing stuff. (Can we make up a word that means both anxiety and depression? Anxpression? Depxiety?)

Comments are closed.

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