I get a ton of junk email, like we all do. I have aggressive filtering, like most of us do. But something gets through every day, because reasons.
My personal favorites are the ones that address me as if I am, personally, Barnes & Noble. They frequently offer cleaning and reputational services (for me, Mr. Barnes & Noble), as well as something about putting Google Maps directly into my stores. Good stuff.
Today, something got through, and in those few preview words you can see without opening the email, I read the phrase “Million dollar bacon.”
So I said to Anne, “I mean, million dollar bacon sounds great. But who can afford that?”
“Someone who is living high on the hog,” she replied.
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Talk about bringing home the bacon. Or something like that.
She can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pun, and never let you forget you’re . . . Olivia Munn?
The Enjoli perfume ad joke doesn’t really work if we fiddle with the rhyme scheme, apparently.
Anne Wheaton is the best.
I’ll second that.
The ones that amuse me the most are the ones that purport to be from me, as if I could be fooled into thinking I’m sending email to myself.
LOL! What a great line! Thank you (and Anne) for the laugh!
The only kind of people who eat million-dollar bacon are those who practice pork-barrel politics.
Your married smarter and funnier❣️
Smart, quick, and funny wives are absolutely the bomb diggity, as it were. And she likes bacon!
It’s always great to have a spouse who is quick on the uptake. I have thoroughly corrupted my wife to the point that she now occasionally quotes Python and sometimes throws in a ‘As foretold in prophecy’.
I work at a university library, a small one, and probably half of our incoming phone calls to our front desk are ‘We would like to talk to you about increasing your Google Ad Services visibility!’ Uh, no thanks.
Tried hard to come up with an add-on joke for that and failed. It’s a perfect comeback.
Tried it. Not a fan. But then, I’m not big on cayenne pepper. https://www.firstwatch.com/menu/million-dollar-bacon/
snort Nice.
Had a kid tell me this one the other day: “How many bones are in the human hand?” … “A handful.”
Anne is THE best! Hey, Wil, I’m Cheryl in RI, a fan since your space sweater days and have your book to read next! I’ve been entertained while trudging on my treadmill by your Burrito Free Radio sessions from the pandemic days along with my other favs Mayims Breakdown and InvestiGates, just to name a few within in the ST/80’s & 90’s fan world. Anyhoo, I just wanted to say hi and to tell you that I see you, admire you and appreciate you! You are an inspiration. Peace & Love. P.S. Spam is a hilarious shitshow indeed.