Fourteen years ago, Anne and I went to Pasadena Humane Society to see some of the construction our fundraising supported. While we were there, we chatted with Kevin, who was our adoption coordinator for our dog, Seamus.
Seamus had been part of our pack for about a year, and we were talking with Kevin about how much we loved him, what an incredible dog he was, and how happy and grateful we were to have met and adopted him.
I remember saying, “I don’t think I will ever have another dog who isn’t a pittie. He is so sweet, and affectionate, and so gentle, and …” I stopped because I saw a volunteer walking a puppy toward us. She was tiny and underweight, but she had the biggest smile. I knelt down to meet her, and she did a somersault into my lap, wagging her tail so fast I couldn’t see it.
“Well, they are just like this!” I concluded. Then I loved on that puppy until Anne gently told me it was time to let her walk into the shelter.
I was completely in love with her, that fast. She reached into my heart and never left. The next day, it was Anne’s birthday. We went down to the beach for a long walk, as is tradition. We were approaching the Manhattan Beach pier when I said, “I just need to confirm with you that we are not adding another dog to our pack, because I can’t stop thinking about that puppy.”
Anne told me that she didn’t pet her, because she knew that she’d fall in love, too, if she did. I don’t recall what we said to each other, but Anne called PHS and asked them to put us on a waiting list to adopt her.
A few days later, Marlowe came home with us, and she was my baby girl for over a decade. Even when she was an old lady, she was my little girl.
Just over a month ago, we found out Marlowe had lymphoma. It was so aggressive, it moved so quickly, we couldn’t stop it. We did everything we could for her, but we had to say goodbye to her last month.
I miss her so much, my heart hurts. It’s been a month, and I still look for her everywhere in the house. I’ll be okay, and then something will remind me of her and I am sobbing in a heap on the floor.
This is the first time in my life I have experienced this kind of grief, this kind of loss. When we lost Seamus, at least Marlowe was here for both of us while we grieved (and we were here for her, when she grieved). Now there’s just a big empty house and my broken heart.
I will miss her forever, my sweet little girl.
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I am so sorry for your loss Wil. I saw Anne’s post on Threads a little while ago about it. We don’t deserve doggos, but they give us their whole hearts anyway. Sending you big hugs as you mourn her passing. May her memory always be a blessing. 💛
Damn, dude… I’m feeling a bit of the pain of your loss.
Peace.
I know how it feels, and I’m so sorry for your loss.
I’m so sorry for your loss. We never have enough time with our pets. You gave Marlowe a wonderful life. The depth of your grief is a shadow of your love.
Oh no. I am so sorry. I will miss her terribly as well. Thank you for sharing her with us.
Wil – I am so sorry for your and Anne’s loss. How I wish our sweet dog friends could be with us longer – they leave such holes in our hearts when they leave us.
We lost our Sammy to aggressive cancer about a year ago. Still seems like yesterday. Now we have our Lulu, who also crawled into my lap when we went to go pick out a puppy (Sammy was a Corgi, Lulu is a newfie/great dane/german shepherd mix, so not a small pup). We wondered out loud why we keep setting ourselves up for this kind of heartbreak, but there’s just so much love that comes with a dog in the house. I’m sorry for your loss.
Wil, my kids were babies when you got Marlowe. I remember with joy looking forward to every Marlowe Monday.
My condolences on your loss. All of our loss. That smile was amazing.
I send to you love and a wish for you to find comfort. I lost a cat that was my whole world. That grief was as powerful to me as losing my father.
Grief is grief. It is hard, painful road that never ends..
But the landscape changed as you walk it.
My heart breaks for you, Wil. Thank you for loving her so well and for giving her such an incredible life.
I remember when Marlowe arrived. I am so sorry.
Losing your heart dog is always the hardest. Love to you!
Oh Wil! My condolences! We all love Marlowe too, from a distance.
I’m so sorry about Marlowe
I just lost my 17 year old Libby. I keep seeing her out of the corner of my eye. I’m so sorry you lost your baby. Xo
Hugs…..
Wil, I am so sorry for your loss of Marlowe. I know that deep pain so well having lost multiple dogs over the years. I hope that the knowledge that you did your best for Marlowe, and that you gave her a wonderful life will be of some comfort in the days ahead. Wishing you peace.
My heart grieves with you, Anne and Watson. Please take care of each other and give extra loves to Watson.
Re: Marlowe memories: heart broken, weeping! She’ll live forever in your hearts.
So sorry for your loss.
Hugs to both you and Anne. Having had to make the same decision for our Shadow Latt who was my bud for 17 of his 19 years I’m right there with you. For such tiny critters they sure do take a huge chunk when they leave us.
I am so sorry. It’s so hard when we lose them. She was such a lovely girl and it was clear how much you and Anne loved her.
Hugs.
The holes they leave are immense and bottomless, and are only filled in with love.
So sorry. You might not feel like it, but putting something else in that gap will take your mind off the hole with the necessities of taking care of a new friend. Tough but I find it helps…
I hope love will rest gently in your broken hearts. May Marlowe’s memory be a blessing.
I am full-on BAWLING over here reading this!! Multiple tissue sobbing! 🥺 It was so obvious that you loved and adored her, but this depth made my heart hurt for you even more. My deepest condolences to all of you. 💖
Grief is love that no longer has a place to go. I’ve lost a few furbabies in my lifetime and my heart never fully began to heal until I rescued a new kitty or pupper. I am a firm believer that when you are ready to bring a new soul into your family Marlowe will have had a hand in sending him or her to you. Look for those signs. You will always ache for your baby girl, but your heart will heal in time once that love has a focus again.
Losing a best friend is the hardest thing in the world. I’ve found that the only thing that heals grief is time and another set of paws to slowly fill the hole in your heart.
My vet told me they leave us sooner than we want because they spend all their love too quickly because they know that’s what we need. They fill up our hearts with the time they have.
Sympathy and empathy to you and Ann. I loved the Marlowe Monday posts. We lost our 10 year old cat to lymphoma in November–we got 6 good months for him, for which I am grateful, even though the time to prepare did not, in fact, prepare me. Cancer sucks.
Very sorry for your loss, Wil. My condolences.
What a beautiful tribute to a wonderful girl. You gave her the best life possible and she undoubtedly loved you and Anne with all of her being. I lost my soul cat a little over three years ago. She was 17 and we’d had her since she was 8 months old. I was inconsolable. I still miss her so, so much, but the passage of time has helped me to think of her without feeling overwhelmed, though yes, I do occasionally still shed tears.
Wishing you and Anne lots of warm thoughts and love. ❤️
We are so sorry for your devastating loss. It’s heartbreaking enough just to hear, so we can only imagine your grief at having to experience it. Your family is in our thoughts and prayers as you work through the pain.
Oh, Wil, I hear you. My eyes welled as I read of your loss. It has been nearly 30 years since I lost my border collie, MacDuff, and rarely a day goes by that I don’t think of him, still mourning the loss. Your grief is a testament to your having loved. Know that you are not truly alone in this feeling. May the happy memories surpass the pain of loss.
Losing a furry family member is just as hard, or harder, than losing a human one. Be gentle with yourself, and take care. Allow yourself your grief, and then, when the time is right, you can move to smiling with the good memories.
Very sorry for your loss… Your account was very well written as usual. Are you planning on getting another dog?
I lost my 17 year old girl Libby a few months ago. I still see her in the corner of my eye. I still cry. She was my best friend. My heart goes out to you.
My heart hurts for you. May her memory will be a blessing.
Oh Wil, I am so sorry. I know that pain and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. They’re our babies and no matter how much time we have with them is never enough. Marlowe was a beautiful girl and I always loved when you would share her pictures with us. I’ll give my Ella extra snuggles and treats in her honor for you.
Oh Wil I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ve lost a pet to cancer and recently lost a pet completely unexpectedly due to a PE and while losing any pet is heartbreaking, losing one still in its prime is just devastating. I took comfort in knowing that they both had a loving family and home and we got to share that for a while, and that nobody is really gone, as long as we remember them.
So sorry to hear that Marlowe has passed. The familiars in our life truly worm their way into our hearts and memories.
My sincerest condolences. I have a similar hole in my heart, and while I have gone on to love another, it’s never really the same.
I wrote these words to help others who have had to make that hard decision – I hope they help your heart a little.
Our animal companions give us unconditional love their whole lives, whether that life is 2 months, 2 years, or 22 years. At the end of their lives we repay that love in one final act, when necessary. We take all of the physical pain and suffering away from them, and place it into our hearts, converting it to emotional pain, and we feel it all, and bear that burden so they don’t have to, anymore. That is the final act of love.
I’m still so sorry for your loss, Wil. My cat, Alice, she had lymphoma last year, and we had to say goodbye to her on Valentine’s Day. She’d been almost 17, and I’d found her at six weeks old. She’d been my baby through several moves, a massive breakup, healing, a later marriage after developing a much healthier relationship with a wonderful soul, finally starting my career, and becoming a father. She was my constant companion. Even more than a year later I wake wondering where she is. I’d say it gets easier, but that’s not something you need to hear. What I do know is Marlowe knew she was loved, and you gave her the best life she could have. All the love to you and Anne.
So sorry for your loss. I lost my best girl Holly the day before Thanksgiving. I’m still broken.
So sorry for both you and Anne. I know how bad it hurts, Blackjack was the best friend I’ve ever had. They leave too soon.
So terribly sorry to read about your loss. It never gets easier; sorry, but you probably know that already. It sounds like you both saved each other and had so much love you could share it with Anne and everyone else in your family. You will never forget her, and no one blames you for reacting naturally. You will get through it, one day at a time and with Anne’s love and support.
Deepest condolences for your loss of Marlowe. It’s amazing how much room these creatures take up in our hearts. It’s beautiful and worth every second.
So very sorry for your loss