Fourteen years ago, Anne and I went to Pasadena Humane Society to see some of the construction our fundraising supported. While we were there, we chatted with Kevin, who was our adoption coordinator for our dog, Seamus.
Seamus had been part of our pack for about a year, and we were talking with Kevin about how much we loved him, what an incredible dog he was, and how happy and grateful we were to have met and adopted him.
I remember saying, “I don’t think I will ever have another dog who isn’t a pittie. He is so sweet, and affectionate, and so gentle, and …” I stopped because I saw a volunteer walking a puppy toward us. She was tiny and underweight, but she had the biggest smile. I knelt down to meet her, and she did a somersault into my lap, wagging her tail so fast I couldn’t see it.
“Well, they are just like this!” I concluded. Then I loved on that puppy until Anne gently told me it was time to let her walk into the shelter.
I was completely in love with her, that fast. She reached into my heart and never left. The next day, it was Anne’s birthday. We went down to the beach for a long walk, as is tradition. We were approaching the Manhattan Beach pier when I said, “I just need to confirm with you that we are not adding another dog to our pack, because I can’t stop thinking about that puppy.”
Anne told me that she didn’t pet her, because she knew that she’d fall in love, too, if she did. I don’t recall what we said to each other, but Anne called PHS and asked them to put us on a waiting list to adopt her.
A few days later, Marlowe came home with us, and she was my baby girl for over a decade. Even when she was an old lady, she was my little girl.
Just over a month ago, we found out Marlowe had lymphoma. It was so aggressive, it moved so quickly, we couldn’t stop it. We did everything we could for her, but we had to say goodbye to her last month.
I miss her so much, my heart hurts. It’s been a month, and I still look for her everywhere in the house. I’ll be okay, and then something will remind me of her and I am sobbing in a heap on the floor.
This is the first time in my life I have experienced this kind of grief, this kind of loss. When we lost Seamus, at least Marlowe was here for both of us while we grieved (and we were here for her, when she grieved). Now there’s just a big empty house and my broken heart.
I will miss her forever, my sweet little girl.
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Gentle hugs to you both on the loss of your beloved Marlowe.
So sorry for your loss. Yes, you will always miss them but it will get better. 3 years on I still horribly miss my cat Samantha, Sam, and the house is so empty. But it isn’t as heartbreaking, I just still miss her terribly. As many have said, Marlowe chose you and you and Anne gave her a wonderful life. Remember the good times from that.
My most profound condolences to both of you. I understand that awful emptiness when the household is devoid of fur family. It’s shattering. ‘Grief is the price we pay for love’ (QEII) as I’m sure you know; sometimes, the cost almost seems to exceed the benefit. But it never (ever) does, as you also know. Peace.
How very sad. And sweet, in such a heartbreaking way. I agree that Marlowe will always be with you. Always in your heart. Her precious spirit alongside your beautiful spirit. Forever. Meet your pain with the joy she brought to your lives. And the fantastic life she had with you. With so much love. And deep peace.
I am so very sorry for your loss.
Dear Wil. I so feel your pain. While we have loved our 2 previous furchildren (cats), our last one (no. 3) was the Special One, the one-of-a-kind gorgeous girl, Lily. It absolutely broke us (my husband and me) and the grief is real, it’s hard, and it’s gut-wrenching. She passed the day before I was to mark my 11th year without alcohol. With the other 2 furchildren I was still drinking. I grieved for them too but this time I was proud to be fully present for my girl as I held her in my arms. She deserved nothing less. She was about to turn 13 when she left us. Peter and I don’t have children so our furbabies are our children. But this girl, as I said, she was just so special. Nearly 18 months later, we pondered whether we could risk our hearts again. The house felt so empty. I could not bear the thought of adopting again in one way. Could I stand the pain of my heart breaking again? Then, as the Universe tends to do, a new girl was mentioned to us via a friend in a rescue organisation/foster situation she knew. I nearly said “no”. I can’t. But then this girl looked at us both and I knew we had to give her the forever home she deserved. She does not replace Lily. No furchild ever will. But, she is her own little person and with another look from her we took a deep breath and then a leap of faith. I think we’ll be ok. But I still can’t speak about Lily without feeling the gap from that piece of my heart that’s missing. And maybe that’s ok. I am so grateful that the Universe gave us Lily. The Special One who chose us back then. We will give our new furchild, Wendy, a good home. She’s lovely. But you never forget the Special Ones.
Once a week, for what’s left of my life, it will always be Marlowe Monday.
Losing our loved ones, regardless of specie, hurts. When I was a pre-teen, early 80s, I got a kitten. I formed a bond with Mitsi that I will always describe as ‘soul mate’. She lived for a long time- over 20 years- and she lived not nearly long enough. I have had cats since her, I have loved cats since her, and I have lost cats since her, but I will always love and miss her the most.
She was worth every moment she lived and worth every moment of pain since. All my cats have been. She was just …special. Extra special.
Her memory may always bring you sadness. May it also bring you happy memories and joy as well. Marlowe was happiness, let her bring you happiness despite, or through, your sadness.
I’m so sorry for your family’s loss. Marlowe sounds like she was the best girl ever.
I’m so so sorry.
I feel your loss more than you know…my Lily was my bestest girl for 15 years. Two years ago I had to make the same decision. Everything her breed (shih Tzu terrier) is known to get hit all at once. I still feel her presence and the hole in my heart. All the hugs.
Wil and Anne, oh Marlowe she was so beloved by you and so many others. I do believe you will be reunited with her. It’s not a goodbye rather a See You Later! If you think you see her out of the corner of your eye that is a visitation. If you notice things a bit out of place that’s a sign too. Its a love that never ends.
So sorry for your loss, pitties are such good dogs. My brother lost his, I believe he had the same thing as Marlowe. It was very quick.
My condolences to you and Anne.
Yes, you will. You will always miss her. I’m so very sorry for your loss, but not for the chance for love like that.
My heart breaks for you & Anne. It’s a devastating loss. You will hold her in your hearts forever.
Aww! My heart goes out to you and Anne. I’ve lost furbabies before, and I know I will again, and that doesn’t make it any easier.
But I believe that Marlowe has gone on to the Happy Hunting Grounds, where steaks grow on the bushes, Frisbees fly though the air just waiting to be caught, and there are no end of warm places to curl up and rest.
After I had to call the Vet to take my Whako in for his end, I wailed uncontrollably for an hour, like I never had before, even with several previous dogs. The two boys I have now have been with me through cancer, losing my parents, and a major surgery, and I have no idea how I will be able to say goodbye to them after all they have done for me. My hearts hurts for you and Anne, dogs are very special souls.
Losing a beloved dog is so hard. I’ve been through it three times in my adult life, plus once as a child. My heart goes out to you.
I’m so sorry for your loss. There are some pets who just gain an extra large space in your heart and soul. I’ve had cats for years now, and while I’ve mourned every one of them when they left us there are some who just had an extra hold on my emotions. A couple of them I’ve even dreamed about once or twice after they had gone. As you said, they reached into my heart and have never left.
Oh Wil, that smiling face! How could you not love her? Much sympathy xx
I’m so sorry for your loss. Losing our fur babies is so painful. I hope warm memories bring you comfort during this difficult time.
I’m so very sorry. Losing a beloved pet is gut-wrenching, no matter that we knew we gave them the best life possible. The good memories will eventually help ease the pain, but that grief never leaves, just finally is tempered with a smile at some point, because she was such a beautiful soul and you’ll always remember the joy she brought you. That ache means something precious. Even after all the fur-faces I’ve had to let go over the decades, each and every one of them remains in my heart, and some were just so precious it sometimes feels like they’re still there when I need them, a glimpse from the corner of my eye or a pressure against my leg. May the comfort of her special nature surround you and Anne and bring you peace.
Hi Will. I’ve been following you for years and never commented because I don’t like to waffle. But, my deepest sincere condolences for your loss. We lost one of our pack at the start of this year, and my eldest is a pittie too, who is going to be 15 in a few more months. They are the reason we do stuff everyday, and the whole point of all of this. Everything else’s doesn’t really matter by comparison. So, from our pack to yours, thank you for doing what you’ve done for them. They never ever leave and you did good.
I am so sorry for your loss, Wil. There is no love in the world, like the love a dog has for her boy. I am truly sorry.
My heart breaks for you as you grieve the loss of your beloved Marlowe. Blessings as you mourn your loss and celebrate her life and love. 💗🙏💗
Our dogs just punch big canine-shaped holes in our hearts and I wouldn’t have it any other way. They deserve all the tears their loss draws from us because they’ve earned them with all the joy they’ve given. Only thing to do now is find the dog who will shape the next space in your heart.
Oh, Wil – I am so sorry for your loss. Our own dog is snoozing behind me as I am writing this. He is 11 now and he’s fine. And still, I am already dreading the day we have to say goodbye to him. We think of you and Anne. There’s nothing anyone can say to make it easier but know that we think of you.
May her memory be a blessing.
I lost my Leo a year ago(Rhodesian ridgeback) he was my heart. THat dog and I had fun and a lot of great and not so great times. he helped me raise my daughters. He saw me through Covid and job loss. He got me through hell. A month after he left us we were offered a puppy. A tricolored tripod Bernie/aussie female. I reluctantly said yes even though I wasn’t sure if I was ready. Echo wagged her way into our heart and helped fill that hole. She has some traits that make us the ink Leo had some guidance for her.
What I’m saying is when opportunity knocks, even if you’re not quite sure if it’s time, take the leap.
As a fellow parent of furry children, I feel your pain and I am so sorry for the loss you and Anne are feeling. You are honoring her so beautifully. I lost one of my furbabies 6 years ago and the void he left behind is still present with me and my other furbabies. As you astutely pointed out, they grieve for each other too. I have an 18 year old tabby who was diagnosed with heart and kidney disease 3 years ago. I have been able to work with her vet to keep her stable and happy but I am aware that time is running out, which brings an anticipatory grief that I am sure you felt too when you first received Marlowe’s diagnosis. Thank you for sharing your grief and allowing us to open our hearts, share our experiences so you don’t feel alone, and offer words of support to help lift you up as you navigate through your immense heartbreak. May Marlowe send you signs that she is still with you and give you peace.
When it comes to loss, there are no words. The best we can do is listen, hold a hand, share a hug, never forget, and celebrate the memories of them. Sending all those vibes to you.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Marlowe was so very special. ❤️
Thank you for saving her and loving her her whole life. She mattered and you made her family. Some you just never get over, I’m sorry.
(originally posted 1/16, 2-2:30pm – please delete if duplicated)
I’m sorry, Wil. I sobbed reading that because it’s such a shared experience. of grief (three cats, two dogs).
My heart goes out to you.
I have an online acquaintance, American, who lives in Costa Rica. She will sometimes post on FB about dogs who have been abandoned, suffering, and ask for help, whatever we can afford for the Vet clinic she works with. Several months ago, she took in a very grateful fella she named Rudy, who had the sweetest snaggletooth, as he was terminal. She just wanted him to have a beautiful place to pass. Videos nearly every day, we all got attached to him, Then the day came: “Rudy passed away today out in the garden on this blanket…”
Please love again when you’re ready. These beautiful souls really need us.
I am so sorry for your loss and I know exactly what you mean. We lost our boy (my only dog to date) last year after sixteen amazing years of love. And it does get easier, but every now and then something will happen and I will expect him to be there and suddenly I’m crying again. Nobody loves you like a dog and I’m so grateful for the time I had with my Bacon, even if it hurts like hell now that he’s gone.
What timing. I read your post on the day I let my little Trixie go. She was 16 and she and Abbey were my best friends. Abbey passed 6 months ago to the day and she was 16 as well. They were found together when they were 6 months and one year old, living in a parking lot of strip club in Van Nuys. They became my adventure buddies and filled my life with love. Her last days were filled with beach walks, stroller walks on the boards and pup cups. Now it’s just emptiness everywhere. I want to believe they’re puppies again, running in circles together. I miss them with my entire heart. Thank you for sharing your sweet pup.
Wil, I lost my Dixie dog at the beginning of 2018. Full blooded Rhodesian Ridgeback, and large for a female. She was constantly things off coffee and couch side tables with her tail and driving me and my ex wife nuts as it happened. The loss does slowly mellow over time, but it never completely disappears. You nave my deepest condolences and I hope that you find ways to distract yourself over the coming weeks.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your sweet Marlowe. Thank you for sharing your grief with us, as we will also miss seeing your posts that often included her. It’s never easy losing a pet. May your happy memories sustain you and Anne through this difficult time.
Wil, I am so, so sorry! This made me tear up because I remember seeing all those beautiful pictures of Marlowe on Facebook, back when I was on that platform. I know exactly how you feel and I know it hurts, and will hurt for the rest of your life. I absolutely dread the day our kitty (17 y/o) leaves us, we will be devastated. Why do they have such short lives? Probably because they are too good for this world.
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My heart hurts with you & Anne. So sorry for Marlowes passing.
so sorry to hear of your loss! Marlowe was a special girl and we loved sharing her with you. Many hugs to you and Anne while you navigate this loss.
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I’m very sorry about the loss of sweet Marlowe.
I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. I’ve always enjoyed what you’ve shared about her. Dogs are such special little souls. Their limitless capacity for love and devotion is so amazing. Healing thoughts and energy are sent to you and Anne.
I’m crying just thinking about what you and Anne and your family are going through without Marlowe. My sister and I have been without a friend like Marlowe for decades and we enjoyed “sharing her” through your pictures. We had our Tramp for almost 16 years and I’m the one who had to make the call when he had a sudden collapse and couldn’t even stand. The vet let me say goodbye and it was the right thing to do for him. Just as you let Marlowe go with love.
I’m so sorry, it’s heartbreaking every time to lose them
Pets really do become our “furbabies.” I cried uncontrollably when I had to say goodbye to my first cat, Dixon (whom we named after the character Dixon Hill from STNG). Each one is special and will always leave a unique imprint on your heart. It sounds like Marlowe had a wonderful life with you.
No words suffice, but my heart aches for your loss.
We lost our sweet Belle in January. She was 13 and we met her when she was 2 days old when our neighbor’s dog had puppies. She grew up with my daughter and we were all devastated. We lasted 4 days before we met a dog that lived outside in a tiny dog pen and looked just like Belle’s mom. We took it as a sign Belle sent us to each other and we brought her home. I love her so much but I still randomly start crying about Belle.