blog

and the sky was all violet

Posted on By Wil

Earlier this week, I wrote this on my Facebook:

It was so long ago, the exact time is fuzzy. Maybe it was Fall of 1992, or early Spring of 1993. My friends and I were *deep* into Mother Love Bone, Soundgarden, Hole, and Nirvana.

My best friend, Dave, and I fancied our 20 year-old selves to be quite sophisticated, musically speaking, and we professed a specialized understanding and appreciation for Kurt Cobain’s lyrics that the people we disdained as “mortals” couldn’t even begin to fathom.

Sidenote: I’ve been listening to massive amounts of grunge and riot grrl for about a month, and I can honestly and embarrassingly admit that 20 year-old me wasn’t *nearly* as insightful, wise, and sophisticated as he thought he was. He really needed to shut up, and he did *not* have the understanding and appreciation of this music that he thought he did. I know this because 46 year-old me is finding things in these lyrics and albums that younger versions of me weren’t nearly mature enough to see.

So it’s late afternoon, and Dave and I are walking up Veteran in Westwood, to the loft that I share with Hardwick. On our walk, we pass a frat house. On this particular day, this frat house is blasting Nirvana’s “In Bloom” out of its open windows. Kurt Cobain screams, “he’s the one who likes all our pretty songs/ and he likes to sing along/ and he likes to shoot his gun/ but he don’t know what it means / knows not what it means / when I sing it.”

Dave and I look at each other, and the pure, unfiltered, raw and unadulterated CONTEMPT we have for the people in this frat (which I deliberately call a frat because it annoys the douchebags who join fraternities to meet other douchebags) can move mountains.

“These fucking guys,” I say, gesturing dismissively at the house.

“They don’t even know he is singing about THEM, man!” Dave finishes my thought.

It is only now, two and a half decades later, that I realize Kurt Cobain was singing about ALL OF US.

Oh, twentysomething Wil, you are such a privileged little white boy, and you have so much maturing to do. You’re doing the best you can, but … just slow your roll, kid.

I’ve been reflecting a lot on my twenties this week, as I have immersed myself in the music I loved then. I’ve been unpacking a lot of what and who I was then, and how he relates to who I am, now. One of those reflections inspired me to write this, today:

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blog

See you on the Trek Side of the Moon

Posted on By Wil

Several months ago, I got this silly idea to combine two things I love, and make something that I wanted to own. I am not skilled at design, so I asked my friend, Rich Stevens, if he could turn my idea into a reality.

Rich delivered, in a big way:

Get it?

I love it, and my recent experience with Cotton Bureau was so positive, I thought I’d give this design a try on a T-shirt.

Isn’t that cool?! It’s available in Men’s, Women’s, and Junior sizes, on a couple of different fabrics.

I love it, and I hope you and five thousand of your friends love it, too.

Get Trek Side of the Moon by Wil Wheaton at Cotton Bureau, he said in an SEO-friendly way, painfully aware of how awkward he sounded.

that’s a wrap

Posted on By Wil

Last night, I went to Stage 25, now known as The Big Bang Theory Stage, and watched the taping of the final episode of the show that has brought more joy into my life than anything else I’ve ever done in my professional career.

I have a lot of feelings and emotions to unpack, and they are all too raw and turbulent to do that today. Maybe after I go to the wrap party tonight. Maybe in a few days. Maybe it’s too personal to ever properly convey what it means and has meant to me since I joined the show in the second season. Maybe I’ll try right now and see what comes out.

I think it’s fair to say that if I built a tripod out of my career, the main legs would be Stand By Me, Star Trek, and The Big Bang Theory. It kind of blows me away that I get to say that. It is remarkable to me that I have gotten to have all of these things in my life, when honestly just ONE of them would be more than anyone could hope for on his or her resume.

Mainstream Hollywood doesn’t seem to be especially interested in me and what I bring to a production these days. I don’t know why, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to do anything to change that, but I can confidently say that I probably have an on-camera acting career today because of Big Bang Theory, and anything I do on camera for the rest of my career will stand on the shoulders of the work I’ve had the privilege and honor to perform over the last decade.

But all of that is just math and *work*, and while I’m grateful for the work, and proud of the work, what I will cherish for the rest of my life are the friends I’ve made among the cast, writers, and crew.

This is a picture of me with Kevin Sussman, who was in my very first episode way back before I had any grey in my beard, and I love it, because it’s this silly thing we did whenever we worked together on the stage.

“Hey, let’s take a super awkward selfie,” I would say to Kevin, and then this would happen. It’s moments like this, and relationships like this, that truly matter and make the difference in a life, and I’m so lucky and grateful that I have had so many moments like this, with these amazing humans.

Books

coming soon: a limited edition hardcover novella

Posted on By Wil

In 2017, I wrote and published a novella called Dead Trees Give No Shelter. It’s a supernatural horror story about a man who is haunted by the memory of his younger brother’s death when they were children. In my story, he returns to the town he grew up in, looking for some closure and resolution to his brother’s senseless death, and he finds much, much more than he was expecting.

It gets really wonderful reviews on Goodreads (3.99/5.0), which is pretty cool, and a nice surprise for me, because I never looked until just now.

If you’re intrigued (and I hope you are), you can get it on Kindle, as an audiobook that I narrated, from Overdrive, or from me directly in multiple formats with no DRM.

It hasn’t been available in print, because I didn’t think it was a big enough piece of work to justify the expense and time involved in putting together a print run, but that’s about to change.

Earlier this year, I read this novella from Stephen King called ELEVATION. It didn’t feel too small to be in print, and I didn’t feel like I’d spent too much money on it, so I decided to take a chance, and hired my pal Will Hindmarch to do a hardback book design for me. He put together something beautiful and special, that I just love.

It’s going to be a very short print run, of just 250 books. I just uploaded the files for the printer, so it should be available in a few weeks. Normally, I wouldn’t say anything until it was ready, but I’m super excited to share this, and I hope 250 of you will be as excited to have a copy of your own.

blog

horsin’ around

Posted on By Wil

Red Dead Redemption 2 is the most emotionally profound game I have ever played. When I finished it a couple months ago, I felt a kind of wonderful sadness that something I loved was over, secure in the knowledge that I’d be able to experience the story, spend time with the characters, and explore the world all over again whenever I did a replay.

So about a week ago, after I had finished replaying the story in Red Dead Redemption 1, I started my replay. I already have a deeper appreciation for the early character interactions, because I’ve spent a hundred hours more with them than I had the first time around, and I know now that I really want to spend as much time in chapter 2 as I possibly can.

But I know that you’re not here for my philosophical ruminations on the deeper story that is happening around Arthur and his gang, and I know you aren’t here to read a thousand words about why it feels so good to leave this awful world behind for a few hours every night.

You’re here for horse names. I see you.

So Hosea wants me to go hunting with him. I know there’s a legendary bear in our future, and I know that we aren’t going to take it down on our first try, because I’ve been here before. But what I don’t remember is that Hosea wants me to take this old draft horse to the stables in Valentine and sell it, so I can get a new horse of my own.

I already have a horse, and he’s fine, but there’s nothing special about him. He’s sort of a starter horse, and he’s a good boah, but he isn’t that fast, even after we’ve reached our maximum bonding level.

So I go to the stables, I sell this big draft horse, and I pick up a Palomino. She’s beautiful, with a gorgeous white mane and some dappling on her haunches. She’s fast, and she’s going to cost me $150 of my $155.

It’s a lot of money to spend on my horse, and it’s going to be challenging to rebuild my savings this early in the game, but the alternative is a $50 horse who I don’t feel anything for. Even in a video game, an emotional connection with my horse is important to me, so I spend nearly all of my money, and buy her.

Now the game lets me give her a name, and I have to make the most important decision I’m going to make in this game for the next 24 hours of gameplay.

I have already used Mane Weidlin and Neighlor Swift. I briefly consider Nagnes Moorehead, but it’s kind of a walk, and it’s too long for the number of characters I get, anyway.

So I start thinking about horse-related terms, and I end up with “Steed” in my head…

Which is why I am delighted to introduce you all to my new horse, Tara Steed. She’s a little bit of a mess, but she means well and is doing the best she can.

She’s no Neighlor Swift, but who is, really?