still just a geek: an (annotated) memoir

TL;DR:

The first half of this book is my 2004 memoir, Just A Geek. I’ve heavily annotated and reflected on who I was and what I wrote in the early aughts for that book. These footnotes are almost-50 me talking about the experiences of almost-30 me, with the benefit of twenty years in between us. he second half is essays and speeches I’ve written in the last handful of years. If I did this right, you will hopefully see how I grew and changed as a person, and as a writer.

Industry professionals tell me this level of annotation and reflection is kind of a new thing for memoirs, and I wanted to offer a suggestion that may help ease you into the whole experience.

I suspect it will help if you imagine that we are sitting in a room together, and I am just telling you my story. I’m reading to you from the book I wrote 20 years ago, occasionally looking up to reflect on it.

Finally, a content warning. I talk a lot about my traumatic childhood. I talk about experiencing abuse, neglect, and exploitation. A lot of that was incredibly hard for me to read for the audiobook, much more challenging than it was to write. I need you to know that this book gets raw, vulnerable, and intense in a few places. If any of that sounds like it could be difficult for you, I want you to know ahead of time, so you can be prepared.

I wrote a book in 2004 called Just A Geek. Literally dozens of people read it, and a lot of them seemed to like it, but I have felt for years that it’s just been forgotten by pretty much everyone. About two years ago, I wrote a novel, and got it as close to finished as I could. My agent shopped it, and it was universally rejected. Like, it was so rejected, nobody even gave us notes on how to make it better. They were just, like, “NOPE.” I think it’s a neat little story, but clearly capital-P Publishing disagrees. Not gonna lie. I was devastated. But one of those editors remembered Just A Geek. He was also familiar with the writing I’d done since then, my mental health advocacy, and my story of surviving narcissistic abuse and neglect. He had this idea to revisit Just A Geek, annotate it, and include some more recent writing. The whole thing would go together and be an annotated memoir.

So I’ve worked on that for about two years, and today we get to announce that it’s a thing.

My publisher and I have this fantastic plan to do an awesome video announcement for the upcoming release of Still Just A Geek, my annotated memoir, which comes out April 12 in America, and 14 April in the UK.

I had this plan to maybe read a little of it, do some cool video stuff, and be fancy. And then I realized it’s Thursday, which is when all the gardeners come into my neighborhood, and the cacophony of leaf blowers and lawnmowers is just a little too much. I also have a ton of Star Trek: Discovery homework to do for Ready Room tomorrow, and holy crap I suddenly have more things to do than I have hours to get them done.

So that great video idea will be delayed for a little bit. It’ll still happen, I just don’t know when.

Am I just killing it with this book announcement or what? This is how you go viral and get lots of free media attention, y’all.

Really important stuff I want you to know:

I went through the entire text of Just A Geek, and annotated all of it. I feel like I’m only supposed to focus on the stuff I did that’s great, but … well, here’s a little bit from my introduction:

“Many times during the process, I wanted to quit. I kept coming across material that was embarrassing, poorly-written, immature, and worst of all, privileged and myopic. I shared all of this with my editor, my wife, my manager, my literary agent, and anyone else in my orbit who I trusted. “This really ought to be buried and forgotten in that landfill with the E.T. cartridges,” I told them. “Digging it all back up is not going to go well,” I said. They all assured me that confronting and owning that stuff in public, something I’d done privately, was important. I had to confront the parts that still fill me with shame and regret.”

So I did that, and it was uncomfortable, embarrassing, awkward, but ultimately healing and surprisingly cathartic. You may have noticed that I’ve spent much of the last several months remembering and writing about childhood trauma. Now you know why.

I also wrote

“I’m going to be honest: I’m terrified that I didn’t say the right things, take away the right lessons, atone appropriately for the parts of this that are gross. I know that I am not the person I was when I thought it was funny to make a childish, lazy, homophobic, joke. I am not the same person who didn’t even consider that a young woman, doing her job, was worthy of respect and kindness, because she was more useful to my male gaze as a character in a story that isn’t as good as I thought it was. I know I’m not that person, because those things—which are a small but significant part of my origin story—revolted me when I read them for the first time in over a decade. I mean, I physically recoiled from my own book. Those moments, and the privilege and ignorance that fueled them filled me with shame and regret. They still do. But confronting and learning from them allowed me to complete my origin story, as it turns out. It’s another thing I was unaware I needed to do, but, having done it, cannot imagine not doing.”

That’s the first … I don’t know, half, maybe two thirds, of this volume. The rest is new essays and speeches I’ve written in the last few years, which are also annotated.

If it all holds together the way I hope it does, it should tell a story of surviving childhood trauma, surviving a predatory industry, and in the most unexpected way, finding out exactly who I am, versus who I always thought I was supposed to be.

I hope it’s inspiring. I hope it’s entertaining. I hope it doesn’t suck. As you can tell, I am terrified.

I will be doing the audiobook, OBVIOUSLY. It will be released at the same time the print and ebook copies are released. We’re working on a plan to offer signed copies through indie bookshops. We’re talking about a virtual press tour. I’ll give you all more information as it gets locked in.

Finally, we have made a page where you can pre-order right now. Just pick the appropriate link.

Okay. That’s it. That’s the big news. Please tell all your friends.

63 thoughts on “still just a geek: an (annotated) memoir”

  1. You sir, are an inspiration. Never stop being the incredible human being that you are!

  2. Which of the pre-order methods gets you the most money? And count me as one of the dozens that read the original (still on my bookshelf between Steve Jobs and Warren Buffet biographies).

    1. It all pretty much works out the same. What matters to me is that you get it and hopefully enjoy it. If you can choose, my preference as a human is an indie book store. If that’s not possible, for whatever reason, however you choose to get it is cool with me.

  4. Preorder complete. It will sit on my shelf next to the original. One of the few physical books I still actually own after my digital transition.

  6. Verrà tradotto in italiano? Hai qualche progetto per questo?
    Sarebbe molto bello e interessante. Pensaci! ❤️

  7. Hello wil, many greetings from Brunswick in Germany, i’m half german, half italian and now 52 Years old.. i’m a linux user since 1998, started with debian, and debian 11 is installed right now..originated on my amiga 500 in 1989, loved this for Tracker Music i did with oktalyzer in 1991, and later in the early 2000’s under Linux many Desktop Wallpaper.. so you all please stay safe from the Corona Virus and many greetings from Brunswick, Shalom and Ciao..
    http://www.amiga-look.org/artwork/25-years-amiga-computer-wallpaper-set

  8. WIL! I am so excited for this! I think about Just A Geek a lot. I first read it probably in 2009, and a few times since then but not recently. I wanted to but couldn’t bear to go back and read those stories knowing how much you were going through at different times and how much you have changed since then. I know that writing this must have been a difficult, emotional experience and I can’t wait to read it and bawl my eyes out.

  10. I’ve listened to you read all of your wonderful books and stories (and readings of old SciFi stories and books from other authors), thank you for accompanying me on many of my runs. I heard you read a piece of your new book on Star Trek: The Cruise, and I assume that is the book that is not (yet) set to be published – sorry to hear, I’ve been looking forward to hearing the rest of it. But now I have something else to look forward to next spring, thank you Wil! And more Ready Room, yay!

  11. Excellent news! There are maybe a dozen authors that I have pre-ordered books for in the past (usually my ‘to-read’ pile is big enough that I can just wait). I did, however, pre-order this simply because I want to make sure I don’t miss it.

  13. Ordered! It’ll sit next to my original copy and my signed copy of Dancing Barefoot. Good ghu, I’ve been following you for quite some time. Watching you figure out who you are and what made you what you are has been rewarding. I know it’s done a lot to help me look at myself. You’re a good egg, Wil Whieaton!

  14. Proud to know you, if only online, Wil. Watching you put yourself out there, your words, your skill, your heart, your foibles and your understanding of them, putting those things into motion DESPITE/IN SPITE of your own worst tendencies to downgrade your abilities, doubt yourself, is thrilling and inspiring. I feel as though my own path is also overcoming the negativity of how I grew up. We are works in progress, trying to get away from the far too easy fallback of just giving up. This is our path.

    I still have Just a Geek on my Kindle which I should revisit before this one. I remember loving it; you and your humanity.

  17. so proud of you, Wil! This is hard work to do, especially in front of an audience. I’ll look forward to reading it.

  18. Congratulations on your new book achievement!

    Almost 20 years ago, when I started as a science PhD student, I came across your then brand new blog, as Wesley Crusher was always my favorite ST: TNG character. I was impressed with your writing back then, and left a comment saying so. I was shocked when you personally responded. I was so over-the-moon happy and printed the page out and posted it by my desk as inspiration.

    Last year, I discovered your book Just a Geek, in my new library’s ebook catalog. I found your insights and self-reflections enclosed to be quite profound. I then discovered your FB page, and your commentary on these 202021 times have been a bright spot during these times.

    As a now indie book blogger hobbiest, thank you for supporting indie bookstores.

    And thank you for sharing your story and helping others with similar stories.

    I hope you and your family will continue to “Live Long and Prosper!”

    A long-time fan,
    M.S.

  19. I remember reading the original, and honestly, I know how much I’ve changed in the last decade, so it’s so incredible to see you owning how much you’ve also changed in that time. I can’t wait! This will be my holiday gift to myself! I saw your comment about preferring local Indie sellers, so I’m going to have to look to see who that would be in my area, as I honestly haven’t bought a paper book in ages, but this one feels necessary to have in all the forms. 🙂

  20. Secondary question: regarding the “other” work, since Big Publishing rejected it, have you thought about self-publishing? If anyone could pull that off, I think it would be you.

    1. I have. The reality is, if people whose entire professional lives are dedicated to picking out work that will resonate with a large audience are like, NOPE, then I need to listen to that, however disappointing it may be.

        1. Wil, I’d love to put you in touch with former big P publishing professional authors who have left that world behind (and made lots more money). Big P is old school. In many cases, big P has not picked out work that resonates with a large audience. I know one author in particular who was a Star Trek author (with NY Times bestseller status) and has become a more successful Indie author. You do NOT need to listen to to the crap from Big P. Seriously.

      2. I highly respect your judgment. However, one of my side-projects the past few years has been on artists finding niches that sustain you. I guess the main question to answer is “how large an audience do you need”? Personally, I think there’s a place for working your niche, if you will. But I get there are a ton of considerations that I am not privy too.

  21. I am legally blind so I am definitely going to buy the audio version when it comes out can’t wait looking forward to it.

  24. Congratulations Wil!!

    Just A Geek really spoke to me years ago – it 1) showed me someone with courage who was willing to try to face and create a new future after extreme disappointment, 2) helped me de-idealize the entertainment industry, and 3) gave me a clue about the beautiful importance and difference of treating people well. Your descriptions of how you felt seemed so raw and honest, and your sharing seemed like such a generous gift.

    Excited to read your new thoughts about it soon!

  25. Oh man I am excited for this. I love the booked so much I have it both digital in audio format. I’ve been looking forward to your next book for quite some time. When you offered the limited edition dead trees give no shelter we are on top of that within minutes really happy to get that. Hopefully we’ll be able to order it from my local bookstore help the brick-and-mortar shops. Also getting an audio book as my dyslexia makes it easier consume media that way.

  27. Pre-ordered on Kindle since that’s how I read mostly these days, but I’ll probably also get the audio and a hard copy if signed ones become available to put next to my others. I went to a reading/signing of yours I think maybe when Just a Geek first came out at the old Powell’s Technical Book Store in Portland and brought you my copy of Dancing Barefoot to sign and you noticed it was one of the first smaller print run copies and seemed genuinely happy to see it! I had been so worried about meeting you and trying to come up with something to say to you, not realizing that a clever quip wasn’t as important as just a genuine moment of connection. So thanks for that moment!

  28. Preordered it and bought a copy of your first book. Now there’s literally dozens plus one!

  29. Preordered! I loved Just a Geek when it came out, and I’m excited to revisit it as an older human with an older Wil (we’re almost exactly the same age)

    I really hope that one day you release your novel, however. I understand that you feel that Big Publishing doesn’t want it, but I really really did. And I’d bet that there are a fair number of folks like me who would enjoy it as well. But this is entirely your decision, and I respect that.

  31. I always hoped to tell you the following someday at a con, but who knows, in this era, if and when that will ever happen. So I hope you see this and it lands with you.

    Growing up, TNG was a staple in my house, one of the very few shows this Pentecostal preacher’s daughter was allowed to watch. I’m embarrassed to admit now how much I couldn’t stand the character of Wesley, and how long it took me to separate that character from Wil Wheaton, the person.

    As much as you may cringe at the original text of Just A Geek, it was getting it in a HumbleBundle and reading it that woke me up to to the fact that Wil is not Wesley. Reading that book is what started me following your blog and social media accounts. It brought you into my daily orbit, and I owe it and you so much for that. Your candid and ongoing discussion of childhood trauma and mental health issues has actually, literally saved my life.

    I can’t say I remember much about the book now, other than a few random anecdotes. I trust you (as a fellow far leftie) that it’s as bad as you now say it is. But honestly and truly Wil, if you had not written it and I had not read it and found you, I don’t think I would still be here. So I think I can misapply the aphorism here than one person’s trash is another person’s treasure. Just A Geek may indeed be hot garbage. But through the person of its author, my life was saved. I will never be able to properly thank you for that, but I live every day with the aim of to paying it forward.

  32. Now make sure you write another novel – write all the novels, all the time, keep writing them, and maybe a publisher will dig it! But write the novels even if no professional likes them – otherwise there’s no potential novel that a professional WILL like and decide to publish. Excited for SJAG and we never did forget it, and hey I just bought all the audios on bandcamp, so they’re still selling, right?

  35. I was lucky enough to met you at a con when you were promoting the original Just a Geek, have a signed copy and demo cd for the audiobook release planned around that time, and have been a fan of yours ever since. I applaud you for going back to revisit the book older and wiser, and am excited to read this when it comes out!

    And on a more personal note, your mental health advocacy and confronting the narcissism of your parents really struck a chord with me (as I live with depression, and was raised by a narcissist mom), and helped me in my own journey. For that, I thank you sir.

  37. I was one of the dozens that bought the first book as soon as it came out. Can’t wait to read the second, after what you’ve shared over the 17 years since the first

  38. I have a copy of “Just a Geek” around here somewhere. I remember it was an good read. I look forward to reading the update (reboot?)

  39. Wil, publish your novel Indie. Ignore the big P Publishers, they are a dying breed. You have enough of a following to make it work. Even without a following, I would still say “let your story go into the world”. You don’t need the big P, you don’t need agents. You can do this! I can’t wait to read your novel. And, I will order and read this book. 🙂

  40. Proud to count myself among the dozens! I greatly admired your book, and am looking forward to the new one. You are doing great work here, never let anyone (or yourself) tell you different.

  42. What great news, both for us as the readers and for you as the person we have come to know (partially, anyway) through this blog and the other things. Hooray!

  43. I have Dancing Barefoot and Just a Geek, and love both. Can’t wait to get this, too. As an aside, I think a lot of us 70’s kids/80s teens share an origin story, at least in part. The world has changed a lot since then, and most of us have grown with it. You are not the only one of us who laughed at childish things back then and now regret it, but, to be fair, we WERE children back then. Even those of us who were forced to be grown up long before we should have. That’s not meant to excuse our behavior, but as an acknowledgement that children do childish things. Thank you for being a person we can look up to.

  44. It comes out on my birthday! Well, one of them. I have two. It’s a long story. But it’s still my birthday! Awww, this is great! I’m so happy for you, and I’m interested to see this. Because none of us are the same as we were. Or we shouldn’t be. That’s called growth. And I’m sure I would recoil (ok, I have actually done so a few times) at things I wrote a decade ago. And the verbal language I used in the 80s? NOPE. But I don’t use those words now. Because when you know better, you do better. Or at least you should. Growth, Wil, you has had it. Massive hugs.

  45. Great job Will! Look forward to reading your work. Always respect that you’re so willing to put yourself out there with courage to share yourself, your thoughts & values. Often read & mull over your blog to walk away with that familiar nod of understanding. Isn’t life a trip!?

  46. I found Still A Geek (SAG) on the bookshelf of a dear friend and have followed you every since, reading your blog, reading other books by you, watching Stand By Me, buying audiobooks that you have voiced, and enjoyed your television appearances on Eureka and Big Bang Theory. Thank you for all of that entrainment and for sharing your journey as an actual person. I have pre-ordered two copies from Milkweed Books in Minneapolis and I can’t wait to share that second copy with that same dear friend who first introduced me to your writing. Best of luck with the novel and please keep writing. It truly does get better.

  48. I will definitely pick this up, I’ve become such a big fan of yours just reading your posts. I could have sworn I read your book already, but I think I had it confused with Chris Hardwick’s book, which I loved.

  49. So freaking excited, I have purchased all of your books and had them shipped to Australia because I love your work! Is there a way to get a physical copy of this in Australia? It looks like digital only, and Amazon seemed to have been sold out already!

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